Borderland : $b a country-town chronicleFothergill, Jessie
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Borderland : $b a country-town chronicle
Fothergill, Jessie
English fiction -- 19th century
Summoning up his courage, he had told her all that had happened. She
had at first been standing. As he proceeded, her face went paler;
her limbs trembled. At the picture of how he had found Ada lying by
the roadside, the tears rained from her eyes. And when he ceased to
speak she was seated at the table, her head buried in her arms, as
if she would fain have hidden her face from him and from all the
world. Indeed, a cloud of great darkness hung over her soul, and it
seemed for the moment as if neither religion nor hope, nor any good
thing could stand in the presence of overwhelming, triumphant
villainy like this. Michael was watching her silently, while a
conflict was going on in his own mind. She considered him the
embodiment of strength and goodness, and believed implicitly in a
most godlike mind which she attributed to him. And he knew she
thought that of him. Women’s eyes have the habit of confiding such
opinions, to the men concerning whom they hold them, when their
tongues may not say the same things. Michael knew very well that he
was nothing at all like what she imagined him to be; indeed, he
perhaps would not have been what she thought him if he could. He
was, as he knew, something a great deal more serviceable and useful
in this working day world—a man, with a man’s wants and failings and
weaknesses. And the desire which just then was stronger in him than
anything else was, not to lecture this young woman, from the
superior standpoint of a godlike intelligence, on the futility of
her cries and tears, but to clasp her in his arms, and tell her that
it was all very dreadful—even more dreadful than she in her
innocence knew or could understand yet, and that he only asked her
to let him take the half of all her trouble upon himself. That was
his impulse, even as he stood here. And the conflicting agency,
which beat back this desire was, the fear lest to do what he wished
now might bear the semblance of entrapping her, of taking her
unawares, and of making her need into his opportunity. Not very
godlike this, nor very superior, but quite human.
‘All is of no use, then?’ she said at last, raising her face,
tear-stained and disfigured, from her hands, and looking at him.
Then, as if a sudden thought had struck her, she rose and came
hastily near to where he stood.
‘How stupid of me to sit crying there, and thinking of nothing but
myself, while _you_ think of every one except yourself. You wish me
to go to her, do you not? And I will go. I will be ready directly,
if you will wait. I never thought of it. If he deserts her, I will
not. If I can do nothing else, I can sit by her, and people can hear
that I am there. That is always something.’
She made a step as if to go to the door. Michael caught her hand to
detain her.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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