England -- Social life and customs -- 19th century -- Fiction; English fiction -- 19th century
But in the meantime he was leaving aside the most powerful of all his
motives, and one which demanded closest scrutiny. Not ambition, in any
ordinary sense; not desire of material luxury; no incentive recognised
by unprincipled schemers first suggested his dishonour. This edifice of
subtle untruth had for its foundation a mere ideal of sexual love. For
the winning of some chosen woman, men have wrought vehemently, have
ruined themselves and others, have achieved triumphs noble or
degrading. But Godwin Peak had for years contemplated the possibility
of baseness at the impulse of a craving for love capable only of a
social (one might say, of a political) definition. The woman throned in
his imagination was no individual, but the type of an order. So
strangely had circumstances moulded him, that he could not brood on a
desire of spiritual affinities, could not, as is natural to most
cultivated men, inflame himself with the ardour of soul reaching to
soul; he was pre-occupied with the contemplation of qualities which
characterise a class. The sense of social distinctions was so burnt
into him, that he could not be affected by any pictured charm of mind
or person in a woman who had not the stamp of gentle birth and
breeding. If once he were admitted to the intimacy of such women, then,
indeed, the canons of selection would have weight with him; no man more
capable of disinterested choice. Till then, the ideal which possessed
him was merely such an assemblage of qualities as would excite the
democrat to disdain or fury.
In Sidwell Warricombe this ideal found an embodiment; but Godwin did
not thereupon come to the conclusion that Sidwell was the wife he
desired. Her influence had the effect of deciding his career, but he
neither imagined himself in love with her, nor tried to believe that he
might win her love if he set himself to the endeavour. For the first
time he was admitted to familiar intercourse with a woman whom he
_could_ make the object of his worship. He thought much of her; day and
night her figure stood before him; and this had continued now for half
a year. Still he neither was, nor dreamt himself, in love with her.
Before long his acquaintance would include many of her like, and at any
moment Sidwell might pale in the splendour of another's loveliness.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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