COX. Well, wonders will never cease! Conscious of being eleven minutes and a half behind time, I was sneaking into the shop, in a state of considerable excitement, when my venerable employer, with a smile of extreme benevolence on his aged countenance, said to me--"Cox, I shan't want you to-day--you can have a holiday."--Thoughts of "Gravesend and back--fare, One Shilling," instantly suggested themselves, intermingled with visions of "Greenwich for Fourpence!" Then came the Twopenny Omnibuses, and the Halfpenny boats--in short, I'm quite bewildered! However, I must have my breakfast first--that'll give me time to reflect. I've bought a mutton chop, so I shan't want any dinner. [_Puts chop on table._] Good gracious! I've forgot the bread. Holloa! what's this? A roll, I declare! Come, that's lucky! Now, then, to light the fire. Holloa--[_Seeing the lucifer-box on table,_]--who presumes to touch my box of lucifers? Why, it's empty! I left one in it--I'll take my oath I did. Heydey! why, the fire _is_ lighted! Where's the gridiron? _On_ the fire, I declare! And what's that on it? Bacon? Bacon it is! Well, now, 'pon my life, there is a quiet coolness about Mrs. Bouncer's proceedings that's almost amusing. She takes my last lucifer--my coals, and my gridiron, to cook her breakfast by! No, no--I can't stand this! Come out of that! [_Pokes fork into bacon, and puts it on a plate on the table, then places his chop on the gridiron, which he puts on the fire._] Now, then, for my breakfast things. [_Taking key, hung up, L., opens door L. and goes out, slamming the door after him, with a loud noise._ BOX. [_Suddenly showing his head from behind the curtains._] Come in! if it's you, Mrs. Bouncer--you needn't be afraid. I wonder how long I've been asleep? [_Suddenly recollecting._] Goodness gracious--my bacon! [_Leaps off bed, and runs to the fireplace._] Holloa! what's this? A chop! Whose chop? Mrs. Bouncer's, I'll be bound.--She thought to cook her breakfast while I was asleep--with _my_ coals, too--and my gridiron! Ha, ha! But where's my bacon? [_Seeing it on table._] Here it is. Well, 'pon my life, Bouncer's going it! And shall I curb my indignation? Shall I falter in my vengeance? No! [_Digs the fork into the chop, opens window, and throws chop out--shuts window again._] So much for Bouncer's breakfast, and now for my own! [_With the fork he puts the bacon on the gridiron again._] I may as well lay my breakfast things.--[_Goes to mantel-piece at R., takes key out of one of the ornaments, opens door at R. and exit, slamming door after him._