COX. [_Putting his head in quickly at L._] Come in--come in! [_Opens door, L. C. Enters with a small tray, on which are tea things, &c., which he places on drawers, L. and suddenly recollects._] Oh, goodness! my chop! [_Running to fireplace._] Holloa--what's that? The bacon again! Oh, pooh! Zounds--confound it--dash it--damn it--I can't stand this! [_Pokes fork into bacon, opens window, and flings it out, shuts window again, returns to drawers for tea things, and encounters BOX coming from his cupboard with his tea things--they walk down C. of stage together._] Who are you, sir? BOX. If you come to that--who are _you?_ COX. What do you want here, sir? BOX. If you come to that--what do _you_ want? COX. [_Aside._] It's the printer! [_Puts tea-things on the drawers._ BOX. [_Aside._] It's the hatter! [_Puts tea-things on table._ COX. Go to your attic, sir-- BOX. _My_ attic, sir? _Your_ attic, sir! COX. Printer, I shall do you a frightful injury, if you don't instantly leave my apartment. BOX. _Your_ apartment? You mean _my_ apartment, you contemptible hatter, you! COX. _Your_ apartment? Ha! ha!--come, I like that! Look here, sir--[_Produces a paper out of his pocket._] Mrs. Bouncer's receipt for the last week's rent, sir-- BOX. [_Produces a paper, and holds it close to COX'S face._] Ditto, sir! COX. [_Suddenly shouting._] Thieves! BOX. Murder! BOTH. Mrs. Bouncer! [_Each runs to door, L. C., calling._ _MRS. BOUNCER runs in at door, L. C._ MRS. B. What is the matter? [_COX and BOX seize MRS. BOUNCER by the arm, and drag her forward._ BOX. Instantly remove that hatter! COX. Immediately turn out that printer! MRS. B. Well--but, gentlemen-- COX. Explain! [_Pulling her round to him._ BOX. Explain! [_Pulling her round to him._] Whose room is this? COX. Yes, woman--whose room is this? BOX. Doesn't it belong to me? MRS. B. No! COX. There! You hear, sir--it belongs to me! MRS. B. No--it belongs to both of you! [_Sobbing._ COX & BOX. Both of us? MRS. B. Oh, dear gentlemen, don't be angry--but, you see, this gentleman--[_Pointing to BOX,_]--only being at home in the daytime, and that gentleman--[_Pointing to COX,_]--at night, I thought I might venture, until my little back second floor room was ready-- COX & BOX. [_Eagerly._] When will your little back second floor room be ready? MRS. B. Why, to-morrow-- COX. I'll take it! BOX. So will I! MRS. B. Excuse me--but if you both take it, you may just as well stop where you are. COX & BOX. True. COX. I spoke first, sir-- BOX. With all my heart, sir. The little back second floor room is yours, sir--now, go-- COX. Go? Pooh--pooh! MRS. B. Now don't quarrel, gentlemen. You see, there used to be a partition here-- COX & BOX. Then put it up! MRS. B. Nay, I'll see if I can't get the other room ready this very day. Now _do_ keep your tempers. [_Exit, L._ COX. What a disgusting position! [_Walking rapidly round stage._