The almost pleasant drowsiness was over now, and a swift tide of thought
and memory swept through her brain. The gulf on whose verge she stood
seemed to open before her, and she looked down into it shudderingly. She
could recollect the temptation assailing her once before, when her baby
died; but then her husband was beside her, and his presence had saved
her, though not even he had guessed at her danger. What could save her
now, alone, with a perpetual weariness of spirit, and a feeling of
physical weakness amounting to positive pain? Yet if she went but a few
steps forward, she would sink into the gloomy depths, which for the
moment her quickened conscience could so clearly perceive. If David
could but be at home now! If she could but have her little son to occupy
her time and thoughts!
"Dear, dear!" said Ann Holland's low and tender voice; "nobody's too
miserable for God not to love them. Why, a poor thing like me can love
my brother when he's as bad as bad can be with drink. I could do
anything for him out of pity; and it's hard to think less of Him that
made us. Sure He knows how difficult it is to be good when we are
miserable; and we can't tire Him out. He'll help us out of our misery if
we keep stretching out our hands to Him. Nobody knows but Him what we've
all got to go through. It's because you're lonesome, and fretting after
old days. But they'll come back again, dear love and we'll all be as
happy as happy can be. I know how you miss Mr. Chantrey, for I miss him
badly, and what must it be for you?"
Sophy lifted up her face, wet with tears, yet with a smile breaking
through them. Ann Holland's simple words of comfort and hope had gone
direct to her heart, and it seemed possible for her to wait patiently
now until David came home.
"You've done me good," she said, "and I shall tell David next time I
write to him."
"Dear, dear!" said Ann Holland, with a tone of surprise and pleasure in
her voice, "couldn't I do something better for you? Couldn't I just go
over to Master Charlie's school, and take him a cake and a little whip
out of the shop? It would do me good, worlds of good; and he'd be glad,
poor little fellow! Mr. Chantrey's so good to my poor brother; he'd save
him from drink if he'd be saved, I know. I'd do anything for your sake
or Mr. Chantrey's. But there's Mrs. Bolton coming out of the church, and
I've a little business with her; so I'll say good-day to you now, Mrs.
Chantrey."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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