What was it that he feared? Once more people had seen Herr von Throta
enter his house. And with their eyes he beheld the picture just as
they saw it: Below, an aging man, worn out and crotchety, sat at his
window in the office; above, his beautiful wife made music with her
lover. _And not that alone._ Yes, that was the way the thing looked
to them. He knew it. He was aware, too, that the word “lover” was not
really descriptive of Herr von Throta. It would have been almost a
relief if it were. If he could have understood and despised him as an
empty-headed, ordinary youth who worked off his average endowment of
high spirits in a little music, and thus beguiled the feminine heart!
He tried to think of him like that. He tried to summon up the instincts
of his father to meet the case: the instincts of the thrifty merchant
against the frivolous, adventurous, unreliable military caste. He
called Herr von Throta “the lieutenant,” and tried to think of him as
that; but in his heart he was conscious that the name was inappropriate.
What was it that Thomas Buddenbrook feared? Nothing--nothing to put
a name to. If there had only been something tangible, some simple,
brutal fact, something to defend himself against! He envied people the
simplicity of their conceptions. For while he sat there in torments,
with his head in his hands, he knew all too well that “betrayal,”
“adultery,” were not words to describe the singing things, the
abysmally silent things, that were happening up there.
He looked up sometimes at the grey gables, at the people passing by,
at the jubilee present hanging above his desk with the portraits of
his forefathers: he thought of the history of his house, and said to
himself that this was all that was wanting: that his person should
become a byword, his name and family life a scandal among the people.
This was all that was lacking to set the crown upon the whole. And
the thought, again, almost did him good, because it was a simple,
comprehensible, normal thought, that one could think and express--quite
another matter from this brooding over a mysterious disgrace, a blot
upon his family ’scutcheon.
He could bear it no more. He shoved back his chair, left the office,
and went upstairs. Whither should he go? Into the salon, to be greeted
with unembarrassed slight condescension by Herr von Throta, to ask him
to supper and be refused? For one of the worst features of the case was
that the lieutenant avoided him, refused all official invitations from
the head of the house, and confined himself to the free and private
intercourse with its mistress.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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