He knew well what would happen. He would begin to cry, would not be
able to finish for crying; and his heart would contract, as it did
on Sundays in St. Mary’s, when Herr Pfühl played on the organ in a
certain piercingly solemn way. It always turned out that he wept when
they wanted him to do something--when they examined him and tried to
find out what he knew, as Papa so loved to do. If only Mamma had not
spoken of getting excited! She meant to be encouraging, but he felt
it was a mistake. There they stood, and looked at him. They expected,
and feared, that he would break down--so how was it possible _not_ to?
He lifted his lashes and sought Ida’s eyes. She was playing with her
watch-chain, and nodded to him in her usual honest, crabbed way. He
would have liked to cling to her and have her take him away; to hear
nothing but her low, soothing voice, saying “There, little Hanno, be
quiet, you need not say it.”
“Well, my son, let us hear it,” said the Senator, shortly. He had
sat down in an easy-chair by the table and was waiting. He did not
smile--he seldom did on such occasions. Very serious, with one eyebrow
lifted, he measured little Hanno with cold and scrutinizing glance.
Hanno straightened up. He rubbed one hand over the piano’s polished
surface, gave a shy look at the company, and, somewhat emboldened by
the gentle looks of Grandmamma and Aunt Tony, brought out, in a low,
almost a hard voice: “‘The Shepherd’s Sunday Hymn,’ by Uhland.”
“Oh, my dear child, not like that,” called out the Senator. “Don’t
stick there by the piano and cross your hands on your tummy like that!
Stand up! Speak out! That’s the first thing. Here, stand here between
the curtains. Now, hold your head up--let your arms hang down quietly
at your sides.”
Hanno took up his position on the threshold of the living-room and let
his arms hang down. Obediently he raised his head, but his eyes--the
lashes drooped so low that they were invisible. They were probably
already swimming in tears.
“‘This is the day of our--’”
he began, very low. His father’s voice sounded loud by contrast when
he interrupted: “One begins with a bow, my son. And then, much louder.
Begin again, please: ‘Shepherd’s Sunday Hymn’--”
It was cruel. The Senator was probably aware that he was robbing the
child of the last remnant of his self-control. But the boy should
not let himself be robbed. He should have more manliness by now.
“‘Shepherd’s Sunday Hymn,’” he repeated encouragingly, remorselessly.
But it was all up with Hanno. His head sank on his breast, and the
small, blue-veined right hand tugged spasmodically at the brocaded
portière.
“‘I stand alone on the vacant plain,’”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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