It is the importation of so much foreign raw material that has built up
the fortunes of the fairy family called Heathman. His Majesty, the
father--hereinafter called King Heathman--was village cobbler before he
came to the throne. After his accession he procured a horse and cart,
and conveyed people to and from the distant station. He also annexed
several acres of grass territory, by a process of peaceful penetration,
and went in for cows and dairy produce. These two businesses developed
so wonderfully that he dropped the cobbling, at which it must be owned
he was always rather a poor hand. The weak-chested imports have to be
brought up from the station ill, and taken back well; and while they are
on the top of Lew hill they pass the time consuming cream, butter, milk,
and eggs, which are provided by King Heathman, and delivered morning and
evening by the golden-haired princesses. Their Majesties of the
Palace--two cottages of red cob knocked into one--are busy people, and
have no time for boasting; nor do they appear to think they have done
anything out of the way in bringing up fifteen model princesses, not one
of whom has ever given her parents an hour's anxiety. Sickness, some one
will suggest; but that is a ridiculous idea, for the residents of Lew
are never ill, and they live just as long as they like. Mrs.
Heathman--hereinafter called Queen Heathman--looks the picture of health
and strength, and only last Revel Week was footing it merrily after a
long day's work, and dancing one or two anæmic young maids from foreign
lands like Plymouth to a standstill. Old Grandfather Heathman, His
Majesty's father, who is so much addicted to Lew that he won't die, had
the impertinence to be dancing too. He must be nearly a hundred, though
he neither knows nor cares about his age, and will merely state in the
course of conversation that he intends to live out the present century,
because he is so fond of the place. Old Grandfather Heathman is probably
the only man now living in England who has witnessed a fatal duel, which
was fought some time in the dark ages between the son of the then rector
of Lew and a young doctor, a lady being of course the cause. The
unfortunate young doctor, who very likely had never handled a sword
before, was quickly killed by his opponent, who was an army officer. A
stone still marks the spot, but it has become so overgrown with brambles
that only Grandfather Heathman knows where to look for it.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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