William of Normandy--A "head" wind at sea--Beware the druggist--Pick-me-ups of all sorts and conditions--Anchovy toast for the invalid--A small bottle--Straight talks to fanatics--Total abstinence as bad as the other thing--Moderation in all matters--Wisely and slow--_Carpe diem_--But have a thought for the morrow 260-274 CHAPTER I BREAKFAST "The day breaks slow, but e'en must man break-fast." Formal or informal?--An eccentric old gentleman--The ancient Britons--Breakfast in the days of Good Queen Bess--A few tea statistics--"Garraway's"--Something about coffee--Brandy for breakfast--The evolution of the staff of life--Free Trade--The cheap loaf, and no cash to buy it. This is a very serious subject. The first meal of the day has exercised more influence over history than many people may be aware of. It is not easy to preserve an equal mind or keep a stiff upper lip upon an empty stomach; and indigestible food-stuffs have probably lost more battles than sore feet and bad ammunition. It is an incontestable fact that the great Napoleon lost the battles of Borodino and Leipsic through eating too fast. When good digestion waits on appetite, great men are less liable to commit mistakes--and a mistake in a great man is a crime--than when dyspepsia has marked them for her own; and this rule applies to all men. There should be no hurry or formality about breakfast. Your punctual host and hostess may be all very well from their own point of view; but black looks and sarcastic welcomings are an abomination to the guest who may have overslept himself or herself, and who fails to say, "Good-morning" just on the stroke of nine o'clock. Far be it from the author's wish to decry the system of family prayers, although the spectacle of the full strength of the domestic company, from the stern-featured housekeeper, or the chief lady's-maid (the housekeeper is frequently too grand, or too much cumbered with other duties to attend public worship), to the diminutive page-boy, standing all in a row, facing the cups and saucers, is occasionally more provocative of mirth than reverence. But too much law and order about fast-breaking is to be deplored. "I'm not very punctual, I'm afraid, Sir John," I once heard a very charming lady observe to her host, as she took her seat at the table, exactly ten minutes after the line of menials had filed out. "On the contrary, Lady V----" returned the master of the house, with a cast-iron smile, "you are punctual in your unpunctuality; for you have missed prayers by the sixth part of one hour, every morning since you came." Now what should be done to a host like that?