African Americans -- Fiction; Southern States -- Fiction
Using the noise of the town clock striking twelve to cover the creaks
of her departure, Esther slips into the quiet road. The town, her
parents, most everyone is sound asleep. This fact is a stable thing
that comforts her. After sundown a chill wind came up from the west.
It is still blowing, but to her it is a steady, settled thing like the
cold. She wants her mind to be like that. Solid, contained, and blank
as a sheet of darkened ice. She will not permit herself to notice the
peculiar phosphorescent glitter of the sweet-gum leaves. Their movement
would excite her. Exciting too, the recession of the dull familiar
homes she knows so well. She doesnt know them at all. She closes her
eyes, and holds them tightly. Wont do. Her being aware that they are
closed recalls her purpose. She does not want to think of it. She opens
them. She turns now into the deserted business street. The corrugated
iron canopies and mule- and horse-gnawed hitching posts bring her a
strange composure. Ghosts of the commonplaces of her daily life take
stride with her and become her companions. And the echoes of her heels
upon the flagging are rhythmically monotonous and soothing. Crossing
the street at the corner of McGregor’s notion shop, she thinks that the
windows are a dull flame. Only a fancy. She walks faster. Then runs. A
turn into a side street brings her abruptly to Nat Bowle’s place. The
house is squat and dark. It is always dark. Barlo is within. Quietly
she opens the outside door and steps in. She passes through a small
room. Pauses before a flight of stairs down which people’s voices,
muffled, come. The air is heavy with fresh tobacco smoke. It makes her
sick. She wants to turn back. She goes up the steps. As if she were
mounting to some great height, her head spins. She is violently dizzy.
Blackness rushes to her eyes. And then she finds that she is in a large
room. Barlo is before her.
“Well, I’m sholy damned—skuse me, but what, what brought you here, lil
milk-white gal?”
“You.” Her voice sounds like a frightened child’s that calls homeward
from some point miles away.
“Me?”
“Yes, you Barlo.”
“This aint th place fer y. This aint th place fer y.”
“I know. I know. But I’ve come for you.”
“For me for what?”
She manages to look deep and straight into his eyes. He is slow at
understanding. Guffaws and giggles break out from all around the room.
A coarse woman’s voice remarks, “So thats how th dictie niggers does
it.” Laughs. “Mus give em credit fo their gall.”
Esther doesnt hear. Barlo does. His faculties are jogged. She sees a
smile, ugly and repulsive to her, working upward through thick licker
fumes. Barlo seems hideous. The thought comes suddenly, that conception
with a drunken man must be a mighty sin. She draws away, frozen. Like
a somnambulist she wheels around and walks stiffly to the stairs. Down
them. Jeers and hoots pelter bluntly upon her back. She steps out.
There is no air, no street, and the town has completely disappeared.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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