African Americans -- Fiction; Southern States -- Fiction
After the making of this
resolution which becomes a sort of wedding cake for her to tuck beneath
her pillow and go to sleep upon, she sees nothing of Barlo for five
years. Her hair thins. It looks like the dull silk on puny corn ears.
Her face pales until it is the color of the gray dust that dances with
dead cotton leaves..
3
_Esther is twenty-seven._
Esther sells lard and snuff and flour to vague black faces that drift
in her store to ask for them. Her eyes hardly see the people to whom
she gives change. Her body is lean and beaten. She rests listlessly
against the counter, too weary to sit down. From the street some one
shouts, “King Barlo has come back to town.” He passes her window,
driving a large new car. Cut-out open. He veers to the curb, and steps
out. Barlo has made money on cotton during the war. He is as rich as
anyone. Esther suddenly is animate. She goes to her door. She sees him
at a distance, the center of a group of credulous men. She hears the
deep-bass rumble of his talk. The sun swings low. McGregor’s windows
are aflame again. Pale flame. A sharply dressed white girl passes by.
For a moment Esther wishes that she might be like her. Not white; she
has no need for being that. But sharp, sporty, with get-up about her.
Barlo is connected with that wish. She mustnt wish. Wishes only make
you restless. Emptiness is a thing that grows by being moved. “I’ll
not think. Not wish. Just set my mind against it.” Then the thought
comes to her that those purposeless, easy-going men will possess him,
if she doesnt. Purpose is not dead in her, now that she comes to think
of it. That loose women will have their arms around him at Nat Bowle’s
place to-night. As if her veins are full of fired sun-bleached southern
shanties, a swift heat sweeps them. Dead dreams, and a forgotten
resolution are carried upward by the flames. Pale flames. “They shant
have him. Oh, they shall not. Not if it kills me they shant have him.”
Jerky, aflutter, she closes the store and starts home. Folks lazing
on store window-sills wonder what on earth can be the matter with Jim
Crane’s gal, as she passes them. “Come to remember, she always was a
little off, a little crazy, I reckon.” Esther seeks her own room, and
locks the door. Her mind is a pink mesh-bag filled with baby toes.
• • • • •
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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