African Americans -- Fiction; Southern States -- Fiction
“Its all right. You dont have to go till Bernice comes. And she wont be
here till eight. I’m all dressed. I’ll let you know.”
“Thanks.”
Silence. The rustle of a newspaper being turned comes from the rear
room.
Muriel: Shame about Dan. Something awfully good and fine about him. But
he don’t fit in. In where? Me? Dan, I could love you if I tried. I dont
have to try. I do. O Dan, dont you know I do? Timid lover, brave talker
that you are. Whats the good of all you know if you dont know that? I
wont let myself. I? Mrs. Pribby who reads newspapers all night wont.
What has she got to do with me? She is me, somehow. No she’s not. Yes
she is. She is the town, and the town wont let me love you, Dan. Dont
you know? You could make it let me if you would. Why wont you? Youre
selfish. I’m not strong enough to buck it. Youre too selfish to buck
it, for me. I wish you’d go. You irritate me. Dan, please go.
“What are you doing now, Dan?”
“Same old thing, Muriel. Nothing, as the world would have it. Living,
as I look at things. Living as much as I can without—”
“But you cant live without money, Dan. Why dont you get a good job and
settle down?”
Dan: Same old line. Shoot it at me, sister. Hell of a note, this loving
business. For ten minutes of it youve got to stand the torture of an
intolerable heaviness and a hundred platitudes. Well, damit, shoot on.
“To what? my dear. Rustling newspapers?”
“You mustnt say that, Dan. It isnt right. Mrs. Pribby has been awfully
good to me.”
“Dare say she has. Whats that got to do with it?”
“Oh, Dan, youre so unconsiderate and selfish. All you think of is
yourself.”
“I think of you.”
“Too much—I mean, you ought to work more and think less. Thats the
best way to get along.”
“Mussel-heads get along, Muriel. There is more to you than that—”
“Sometimes I think there is, Dan. But I dont know. I’ve tried. I’ve
tried to do something with myself. Something real and beautiful, I
mean. But whats the good of trying? I’ve tried to make people, every
one I come in contact with, happy—”
Dan looks at her, directly. Her animalism, still unconquered by
zoo-restrictions and keeper-taboos, stirs him. Passion tilts upward,
bringing with it the elements of an old desire. Muriel’s lips become
the flesh-notes of a futile, plaintive longing. Dan’s impulse to direct
her is its fresh life.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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