African Americans -- Fiction; Southern States -- Fiction
“Happy, Muriel? No, not happy. Your aim is wrong. There is no such
thing as happiness. Life bends joy and pain, beauty and ugliness,
in such a way that no one may isolate them. No one should want to.
Perfect joy, or perfect pain, with no contrasting element to define
them, would mean a monotony of consciousness, would mean death. Not
happy, Muriel. Say that you have tried to make them create. Say that
you have used your own capacity for life to cradle them. To start them
upward-flowing. Or if you cant say that you have, then say that you
will. My talking to you will make you aware of your power to do so.
Say that you will love, that you will give yourself in love—”
“To you, Dan?”
Dan’s consciousness crudely swerves into his passions. They flare up in
his eyes. They set up quivers in his abdomen. He is suddenly over-tense
and nervous.
“Muriel—”
The newspaper rustles in the rear room.
“Muriel—”
Dan rises. His arms stretch towards her. His fingers and his palms,
pink in the lamp-light, are glowing irons. Muriel’s chair is close and
stiff about her. The house, the rows of houses locked about her chair.
Dan’s fingers and arms are fire to melt and bars to wrench and force
and pry. Her arms hang loose. Her hands are hot and moist. Dan takes
them. He slips to his knees before her.
“Dan, you mustnt.”
“Muriel—”
“Dan, really you mustnt. No, Dan. No.”
“Oh, come, Muriel. Must I—”
“Shhh. Dan, please get up. Please. Mrs. Pribby is right in the next
room. She’ll hear you. She may come in. Dont, Dan. She’ll see you—”
“Well then, lets go out.”
“I cant. Let go, Dan. Oh, wont you please let go.”
Muriel tries to pull her hands away. Dan tightens his grip. He feels
the strength of his fingers. His muscles are tight and strong. He
stands up. Thrusts out his chest. Muriel shrinks from him. Dan becomes
aware of his crude absurdity. His lips curl. His passion chills. He has
an obstinate desire to possess her.
“Muriel, I love you. I want you, whatever the world of Pribby says.
Damn your Pribby. Who is she to dictate my love? I’ve stood enough of
her. Enough of you. Come here.”
Muriel’s mouth works in and out. Her eyes flash and waggle. She
wrenches her hands loose and forces them against his breast to keep
him off. Dan grabs her wrists. Wedges in between her arms. Her face is
close to him. It is hot and blue and moist. Ugly.
“Come here now.”
“Dont, Dan. Oh, dont. What are you killing?”
“Whats weak in both of us and a whole litter of Pribbys. For once in
your life youre going to face whats real, by God—”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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