"Some forts," remarked the Commodore, "are like singed cats; they fight better than they look. This fort is in better condition now, than half the forts were that have become historic." "But in case of sudden war," said the Vice, "there's nothing at hand to repair a broken-down fort with, is there?" "Yes; living men; they make and unmake forts," said the Commodore brusquely. "It's the same way with conventions and caucuses," remarked the Vice, regaining his self-respect as he imagined himself once more the Commodore's equal. "You've been a soldier," said the Purser to the Cook, "and I am longing to see once more the uniform of my native country. Tell me how to gain admission to the fort." The Cook replied, "Go around to the sally port, which you will be sure to find opening away from the neighboring republic, and fire your pistol. The guard will hurry out and make you its prisoner; then the Commodore and I will come around and intercede for you, on the ground of your ignorance." The Purser looked disdainful; "And think you," said he, "that Britain's laws are so fitful as to waver under the persuasions of a brace of Yankees?" "When Yankees can't persuade Britishers," remarked the Vice, "they usually proceed to"-- "Pack a High Court of Arbitration," interrupted the Purser. The quartette straggled through the tall weeds, which prevented farther chaff, and reached the sally port. The heavy gates hung aloft, their duty being discharged by deputy in the shape of long rails resting edgewise in two posts, and with "No Admittance" painted upon a board. The garrison, moving on interior lines, gradually massed itself behind the board, its forefingers taking wary positions within its respective mouths. Behind, and in the centre of the terreplain, towered an enormous haystack. "Behold," said the Purser, "the ingenuity with which the garrison has placed the haystack just where riflemen can take shelter behind it, and command the entrance to the fort, picking off infatuated Yankees who venture upon the drawbridge." [Illustration: The British Garrison.] "True," retorted the Cook, "the idea is not unlike that of General Jackson, who used cotton-bales at New Orleans, but I believe it was not Yankees, who were picked off." The contrast between the ideal and the real was so absorbing, as the four stood at the bridge-head, that some time elapsed before they realized that clouds had gathered heavily, and begun to drop their contents. "My main hatch is open!" shrieked the Vice, as he hurried off to his canoe. [Illustration: The Sally Port.] "My tobacco--and it's a rare Brazilian article--is lying in the bottom of my boat!" shouted the Cook, as he followed the Vice. "The Vice and the Cook will tow up the other boats," ordered the Commodore, "while the Purser and I construct temporary shelter."