In France, we are told, the English officers stepped about as though they owned the whole d----d country, whereas The Americans walked about as though they didn’t give a d----n who owned the country. * * * * * New York liquor spotters have discovered liquor in baby dolls. That’s nothing new. Lots of baldheads have been buying wine for baby dolls in New York for generations! _Questions and Answers_ =Dear Captain Billy=--I am 15 years old and have a sweetheart who is just 18. He owns a flivver and wants me to go riding with him. Should I?--=Lizzie.= Walking is healthier. * * * * * =Dear Captain Billy=--I have a girl friend who insists on writing to me and demanding an answer. What shall I do?--=Charlie.= Tell her to enclose a stamp. * * * * * =Dear Captain Billy=--My husband is going out with another woman all the time. What can I do to keep him home nights.--=Mrs. Brown.= Take the other woman in as a boarder. * * * * * =Dear Captain Billy=--I am a young lady attending a church college. Do you think it would be all right for me to wear skirts 15 inches from the ground.--=Marie.= That depends on your height. If you are six feet tall it would be all right, but if you are only 29 inches “tall,” Not Yet Marie. * * * * * =Dear Captain Bill=--What would you call the unoccupied side of an old maid’s bed?--=Simple Susan.= No Man’s Land. * * * * * =Dear Captain Billy=--My daughter has a sweetheart who just got back from France. He talks to her in French and says: “Villa vouz promenade,” or something like that, and then they go to some park. What does that mean?--=Anxious Father.= That’s all right, old man. Your daughter’s sweetheart was only asking her to take a walk. * * * * * =Dear Captain Billy=--What’s good for cooties?--=Returned Soldier.= Bread crumbs. * * * * * =Dear Captain Billy=--Please explain the uses of salpeter.--=Tommy.= You are hereby referred to any soldier who will tell you its principal usage is in the manufacture of high explosives. * * * * * =Dear Captain Bill=--What’s worse than a cow with the cooties?--=Hi Ball.= A horse with a buggy behind. * * * * * =Dear Captain Bill=--We are organizing a new lodge in ’Frisco to be known as the “Ancient Order of Modern Cavemen.” Will you kindly suggest a motto for our lodge? Yours truly--=Rough on Cats.= My suggestion is: “Catch ’em young; treat ’em rough, and tell ’em nothin’.” * * * * * =Dear Captain Billy=--Why do they use castor oil in racing automobiles and aeroplanes?--=Eunice.= To make them run, of course, Eunice. * * * * *