Then his light is put out An’ he’s served in chops, On a linen cloth To a bunch o’ wops. So, I won’t be squeezed into a body again Till I know the wherefore, why, an’ when. An’ I reckon--time I grow that wise, I’ll be headin’ for the gates o’ Paradise. * * * * * The Answer Why is it folks are drinking more Since Prohibition than before? The reason’s easy to perceive, The same old Snake that tempted Eve With the Forbidden Fruit to play Is on the job again today, And pious folk who never took A drop in all their lives, now look Upon the wine when it is red Because it is prohibited! * * * * * The Old Dog I’ve led a wild life, I’ve earned all I’ve spent. I’ve paid all I’ve borrowed, I’ve lost all I’ve lent. I loved a woman, And then came the end. Get a good dog, boys, He’ll be your friend. _Pasture Pot Pourri_ A bumble bee backed up to me and pushed. * * * * * When things come to a head it will be some tale. * * * * * She--I’ll have you understand I got my musical education from abroad. He--I got worse than that from abroad. * * * * * It Isn’t What You Used to Was Here’s to the man of forty and past, Who’s lived his young life and lived it fast; And here’s to his wife of twenty-four, Who kisses him sweetly and coaxes for more; But all that he’ll do is to buzz and buzz And tell what a guy he used to was. * * * * * “Oi, Oi, Ikey, I’ve got a joke on you. You forgot to pull your vindow curtain down last night and I could see you and your vife all de time.” “No, No. Abie, the joke’s on you. I vasn’t home at all last night.” * * * * * When I was young and had some sense, I tried to jump a barb wire fence. --Mascot. * * * * * Kissing a woman is like taking olives out of a bottle--get the first one and the rest come easy. * * * * * That Famous Lullaby Sleep, baby, sleep, You’re mama’s pet; Though your father voted dry, You were always wet. * * * * * It has been said that the only possible way to get some men to the front is by kicking them in the rear, which reminds us of the Russian Jewish battalion in the recent Polish invasion that was cut off in the front while running to the rear. * * * * * A few months ago the girls ran away from a drunken man--now they run after him to see where he got it. * * * * * You tell ’em, locomotive; you’ve got a tender behind you. * * * * *