A doughboy who’d just come from France, At the clothes of the girls looked askance, He’d killed many a Hun And from bombs hadn’t run, But the skirts made his breath come in pants. * * * * * There once was a girlie from Litchen, Stood scratching herself in the kitchen, Her father said, “Rose, “Coots, I suppose”; “Yes, daddy, dear, and they’re itchen.” _Classified Ads_ Maybe He Liked Stewed Ox Tail (Sign on Minnesota Farmer’s Fence) NOTIS: If any man’s or woman’s cows gets into these here oats, his or her tail will be cut off as the case may be. * * * * * Honesty in Advertising (Sign, Casey’s Store, Golden Valley, Minn.) Annual sale now on; don’t go elsewhere and be cheated; come here. * * * * * Everybody Likes a Sailor (From the Southampton Times) Wanted, by a respectable girl, her passage to New York; willing to take care of children and a good sailor. * * * * * Preparing for the Flood (From the Alton Eagle) Wanted small cottage for a small family with good drainage. * * * * * Why the Street Car Stalled (From the Dubuque News) Will the person who took pair of pants off Main street car Friday please return to this office? * * * * * Why the Car? (From the Buffalo Courier) Wanted--Permanent gentleman boarder, with or without car, in refined ladies’ own private home, with garage. Address Refined Home, Courier. * * * * * Full in a Full Cellar (From the Keokuk Gate City) For Sale--A good modern house on the south side with eight rooms and full cellar for $2,600. Van Pappelendam Brothers. * * * * * Power of the Press (Lusk Herald) Owing to the lack of space and the rush of the Herald’s prize contest several births and deaths will be postponed until next week, or until a later date. * * * * * Some Prefer the Rear Veranda (From the Lakefield Pilot) House wanted by lady with large front porch and spacious rear veranda; sun parlor and no bedbugs. * * * * * Unnecessary Qualification (From Johnson (S. C.) Leader) Wanted--Girls to strip in a tobacco factory. * * * * * If You Lamp Any Let Us Know (From the Philadelphia Ledger) Watches for women of superior design and perfection of movement. Bailey, Banks & Biddle Co. * * * * * New Fashioned Men Apply (From the Detroit Free Press) Room with two meals daily in one of the prettiest private homes in city for one permanent gentleman with every convenience imaginable. * * * * * What’s the Fare? (From Petaluma (Calif.) Courier) I want to dispose of a lot of fancy chickens. Always home nights.