=James B.=--I am not positive as to the number of years the government has been trying to obliterate moonshining in Kentucky. I do know, however, that they’re taking in lots of territory now. * * * * * Hubby: “Let’s name our darling baby ‘Prohibition.’” Wifelets: “I should say not. He’ll never be a ‘dry’.” * * * * * Some Persuader Brumbaugh--“I can’t see why Bert Kitchins married that ugly Miss Vanderpeel. Her money would not have been an inducement to me!” Gimble--“No? Well, her father’s shotgun might have persuaded even you.” * * * * * Too Bad Pelican: “Did you hear about the arrest of William Jennings Bryan?” Belican: “No, what was it all about?” Helican: “For feeling out the women delegation to see if they were wet or dry.” * * * * * Or a Second Bill Sunday A father, wishing to satisfy himself as to the future prospects of his son, decided to make the following test:--“Now,” he said, “I will put here, where he will see them the first thing when he comes in, a Bible, some money, and a bottle of whiskey. If he takes the Bible he will be a preacher, if he takes the money he will be a business man, and if he takes the whiskey he will be no good.” Having thus decided on the plan, he arranged the articles and concealed himself to await the son and watch results. Presently in came the boy, saw the money and put it in his pocket, took up the bottle of whiskey and drank it, put the Bible under his arm and walked out whistling. “My gracious!” exclaimed the father, “he will soon be a United States Senator.” * * * * * Doggonit A farmer friend of mine was standing in the road with a gun tucked under his arm and an old dog at his side. He was directly in the path of a motor car. The chauffeur sounded his horn, but the dog did not move--until he was struck. After that he did not move. The automobile stopped and one of the men got out and came forward. He had once paid a farmer $10 for killing a calf that belonged to another farmer. This time he was wary. “Was that your dog?” “Yes.” “You own him?” “Yes.” “Looks as if we’d killed him.” “Certainly looks so.” “Very valuable dog?” “Well, not so very.” “Will $5 satisfy you?” “Yes.” “Well, then, here you are.” He handed a $5 bill to the man with the gun, and said pleasantly, “I’m sorry to have broken up your hunt.” “I wasn’t going hunting,” replied the other as he pocketed the bill. “Not going hunting? Then what were you doing with the dog and the gun?” “Going down to the river to shoot the dog.” * * * * * Too many women look upon a marriage certificate as a license to operate a holdup game. * * * * * Pickled Puppies