=Dear Capt. Whiz Bang=—I am about to attend a “dry” party, but would like your suggestion as to a good “wet” toast for dry days.—=Ike Atchum.= How about this one? “Here’s to the little doggy that met a little tree. The little tree said: ‘Come, purp, have one on me.’ The little purp replied, as gentle as a mouse, ‘No, thank you, little treelet, I’ve had one on the house.’” * * * * * =Dear Skipper=—What’s the difference between old fashioned and new fashioned kisses?—=Movie Maid.= About five minutes. * * * * * =Dear Captain of the Aft=—I see where you are taking a stand for personal liberty. Still, wouldn’t you be willing to admit that rum is your foe?—=Al K. Hall.= I can’t help admitting, Al, that I’m disgusted with the way the coward Demon has gone into hiding. * * * * * =Dear Kernel Bill=—What is meant by the expression: “bones of contention?”—=Willie Wringlenut.= It probably refers to cocked dice. * * * * * =Dear Captain Billy=—Unless I am too presumptuous, would you mind telling me what is your average income?—=Curious Pussy.= I referred your question to Mrs. Bill, who insists it is after midnight and about a quart a day. * * * * * =Dear Captain=—What would make a good wedding anniversary present for Douglas Fairbanks?—=Madge Talma.= Why not give him an autographed book on “How to be happy, though Mary’d.” * * * * * An angel of a girl generally plays the devil with a man. _Pajama Parties ’n Everything_ Hollywood is still talking of the “wonderful” social season that surrounded Hallowe’en, Thanksgiving, Christmas and New Year’s. Even away out here on the snow-covered Minnesota prairies there filters through a story or two. But the best one we’ve heard is the pajama affair tendered by one of the real picture queens. The party was probably not as rich as really painted, but it is known, however, that in the wee sma’ hours anyone in pajamas could glide into the festivities whether invited or not. The hostess, we are told, is such a grand little lady that we will not embarrass her by any undue publicity. It appears that during the course of the evening one of our best actorinos struck up a friendly flirtation with a prim and very agreeable married woman. That is, it was friendly at first; becoming so lovely later on. For reasons best known to themselves, the pair decided to leave the storm and fret and booze behind and go and find—but that is the first part of the story. Oh girls, before you risk a kiss, And tie up for your lives, Recall if singleness is bliss ’Tis folly to be wives.