Brethren and sistern, our text fo’ today will be taken from the book of Whiz Bang, chapta fo’ ’leven fo’ty fo’, verse seben ’leben: “He who sitteth on a red hot stove shall rise again.” * * * * * Good Advice “Mother, may I go out to skate?” “Yes, my darling Julia, But don’t you try the figure 8, For it will surely fool ya! Just as you make a fancy whirl To show your springy muscle, The boys will see a foolish girl, Sleigh-riding on her bustle.” —Brutus. * * * * * Sign in Natchez Patrons depositing in this bank are respectfully requested not to leave any small change on the counter. _Natchez must indeed be careless._ * * * * * Latest Ballad We will now sing: “The Liveryman’s Sweet Daughter; All But Me Knew Her.” * * * * * “Sweet Patootie!” gasped the bee, as he pushed his head high enough to get a breath of fresh air, “Bees may come and bees may go, but the Bull goes on forever.” * * * * * “Batter up for the wheatcakes,” shouted the cook in the beanery, who was an ex-umpire. * * * * * A successful magazine cover is one that has very little cover for the girl. * * * * * “Poor Fish!” I wish I was a fish, A-frozen in the ice; Then I could watch the girlies skate; Oh, wouldn’t that be nice! * * * * * Am I Right or Am I Wrong? Pure water is the best of gifts, That man to man can bring; But who am I that I should have The best of anything? Let princes revel at the pump, Peers with the pond make free, But old time bourbon, wine, or beer Are good enough for me. * * * * * “Here’s to the short skirt and the low waist. May they never meet.” * * * * * Speaking of Hosiery Most of us keep at least one eye on the temptation we pray not to be led into. * * * * * No, Aloysius, Easter Sunday is not related to Billy Sunday. * * * * * Sweetheart Blues _I got a man,_ _Won’t tell you his name,_ _Cause your man_ _And my man_ _May be the same._ * * * * * Solomon’s interpretation of the white slave law: _Love them where you find them and leave them where you love them._ * * * * * Pat’s Narrow Escape Pat and Mike, working on a night shift in a mill, decide that their work can be done by one, and arranged that they would alternate on the job after the boss went home at midnight. The first night it was Pat’s turn to go home. A half hour later he surprised Mike by rushing into the mill and hurrying into his overalls.