* * * * * A Clean Joke, Let’s Hope _May I hold your Palm, Olive?_ _Not on your Life, Buoy._ * * * * * Oh, frivolity, thy name is woman. * * * * * What was the cause of that scar you have on your head? A woman told me that her husband was in St. Louis. * * * * * “This hotel is a book of life,” chortled the blonde and boastful desk clerk, “with me the hero thrilling its pages, and you poor bell hops—merely the pages.” * * * * * Sign In Basement Window Coffee and a roll downstairs, 10 cents. * * * * * My Evening Prayer _Now I lay me down to sleep,_ _Behold, around me bed-bugs creep._ * * * * * Harrowed husband to barber: Please don’t use that sweet smelling soap on my face. Barber: Why not, sir; it has a delicate lasting scent. Harrowed husband: That’s just it; my wife won’t believe it. * * * * * I’VE HAD A LOT OF JOYS ON EARTH; I DON’T WANT TO BE A HOG. REINCARNATED—I WANT TO BE A BATHING BEAUTY’S DOG. * * * * * Don’t swell up when someone takes you for a ride. You might be used as ballast. * * * * * A skinny girl in an evening dress, shows more backbone than a man. * * * * * You can string beans and kid gloves, but you can’t bull frogs. * * * * * Help! Help! He never had tended to children, Yet he said that he wouldn’t mind When his wife went away, if she would not Leave the babies behind. * * * * * “_There goes a man who can’t bear children._” * * * * * Mother Goose Revamped I once knew a girl Who wore a little curl Right in the middle of her forehead And when she was good She was very, very good But when she was bad She was very INTERESTING. * * * * * First we abolish what we consider an evil, opines the Town Tankard, and afterward secretly embrace it. * * * * * Mary’s Little (?) Lamb Mary had a pretty limb, She realized the fact— That’s why she wore her dresses short She showed a lot of tact. * * * * * _No, Dia, Anna Lyzer is not a twin sister of Para Lyzer._ * * * * * We are surely tickled to death that Good Friday does not fall on Easter Sunday. * * * * * Notice! _Miss Featrice Bairfax who conducts the lovelorn department of this great military journal of uplift, will advise you on your matrimonial and love affairs. Write to her freely; she has been in France long enough not to be shocked._