IF I HAVEN’T THE RENT THIS MONTH, DON’T YOU THINK THE LANDLORD OUGHT TO HELP ME OUT? * * * * * Our Sentimental Melody _We have received several requests for copies of our original song success published several months ago entitled, “You are a million miles from nowhere when you hold her dainty hand.”_ * * * * * What a Pity Mike O’Reilly, of Butte, gazed mournfully at the corpse of his late friend, who had but recently become an atheist, muttering to himself, “You sure look fine, a clean shave, a new suit of clothes and a pair of white gloves on you. All dressed up—and no place to go.” * * * * * Zoology When they first met he said, “a bear.” He’d dog her footsteps everywhere. She monkeyed with him for a year, Although she said he was a deer. A little horse-play hitched the two, Now he’s the goat, it’s nothing gnu. * * * * * Our London Report To a young man who stood smoking a cigar the other day there approached the elderly and impertinent reformer of meek and mild reputation. “How many cigars do you smoke a day?” asked the meddler. “Three,” answered the youth, as patiently as he could. “How much do you pay for them?” “A shilling each,” confessed the young man. “Don’t you know, sir,” continued the sage, “that if you saved that money, by the time you are as old as I am you could own that big building over the way?” “Do you own it?” inquired the smoker. “No.” “Well, I do,” replied the young man. Japanese Bathing Beauties BY REV. GOLIGHTLY MORRILL Pastor People’s Church, Minneapolis, Minn. To the religious rambler, Japan is divided into two parts—that which is inhabited by the Geisha girls, and that “cohabited” by the Yoshiwara. I thought more of the Geisha dancers than the dance, and that wasn’t much. The word “Geisha” means accomplished one, and there are schools for their education in music and the arts. People visit the girls more for pleasure than for profit, and since they are one of the institutions of Japan, I went one night to a tea-house to see them. Making myself as comfortable as possible on the floor, a screen door was slipped aside, and in came a pretty Geisha girl who touched her head to the floor three times, sat down and looked at each one of our party. Immediately there fluttered in three more, and they made the room look like an Oriental bird cage. They sang for us in a tone that suggested an ungreased axle or a nail drawn across a piece of glass, played on the samisen and koto, which nothing but the genius of a Wagner could appreciate went through a fancy fan drill and proved themselves good entertainers, but felt embarrassed because we were not familiar and indecent. They acted serious and spoke to one another, and I asked what was the trouble. It seems they didn’t know what to make of us, as the average tourist was usually boisterous, drunk and rough.