_Yours for safety first,_ _Bilious Billy._ * * * * * Do you need any typewriter supplies? Yes, send me two pounds of candy and a box of chewing gum. * * * * * About the only amusement women appear to have nowadays is smoking cigarettes, shaking the shimmy, and shooting their husbands. * * * * * =_We wonder where the pictures that used to hang in the bar rooms are now?_= * * * * * Here It Is Again Don’t bother bringing in the firewood, Mother. Father will be home with a load. * * * * * Me friend Mulligan says wan time whin two heads are not better than wan is whin you wake up the morning after the night before. * * * * * =_Said our pet pole cat to his pretty pal: “Now, dearie, do not be so high toned that you can’t use common sense.”_= * * * * * Talk about your nice dispositions—we have a man in our town who retires early rather than keep the bedbugs waiting for supper. * * * * * _Has anyone heard that little ballad entitled “Who shot Nellie in the freckle?”_ * * * * * What could be sweeter than the rib music of choir-practors. * * * * * Fair Dancer—Say, walk over your own feet! He—What do you think I am, a cross-country runner? * * * * * Button up your mouth, boys, you’ve ingrown heels. * * * * * Today in History They were married and lived snappily ever after. * * * * * _It takes a tough bird to eat currents off a live wire._ * * * * * A North Pole Ad (From Charlotte, N. C., Paper) To Sublet—Heated apartment for July and August. * * * * * “So you’ve been to Paris? How did you like the Eifel Tower?” “Eifel Tower? Huh, I didn’t have my eyes more than two feet off the ground all the time I was there.” * * * * * In Our Barn Yard In she came; Down she sot; Laid a little egg, And up she got. * * * * * “The MISERY of a CHILD—is interesting to a MOTHER! “The MISERY of a YOUNG MAN—is interesting to a YOUNG WOMAN! “The MISERY of an OLD MAN—is interesting to NOBODY!” * * * * * Roses are rare, Violets are few, I sure picked a lemon, When I got you. * * * * * Joe’s a Gentleman