So I put on my brakes and pulled my radiator away from the back of their machine. * * * * * Someone’s Inhaling Ether (From the Chicago Tribune) “She had those wide blue eyes whose expression can be misleading in their infantile pathos; hair fine and shining like gossamer gold; a complexion firm and white, with the barest breath of rose leaf pink on the cheek bones, and the whole of her was small, neat, rounded.” * * * * * Just Like the Army The prosy old parson was coming and his hostess carefully drilled her daughter to answer the string of questions he always asked every little girl: (1) “What is your name?” (2) “How old are you?” (3) “Are you a good little girl?” (4) “Do you know where bad little girls go?” But the little girl was overtrained and when the reverend visitor began by asking her her name, she spilled all the answers at once in a single breath. “Dorothy, sir; six years old, sir; yes, sir; go to hell, sir.” * * * * * Blank Verse Dear Captain Billy, I am full of regrets, Because the other night I set out to find the gold At the end of the rainbow. And all that I saw was “The Gold Diggers.” Ain’t that always the way In Boston? * * * * * Sneeze Hearty “I rise to propose a little toast,” announced the president of the Hay Fever Club. “What is it?” “Here’s looking at—choo!” _Hollywood Flirtations_ It is rumored around filmland that handsome (?) “Bull” Montana is shortly to be married. Doug Fairbanks, in lowbrow days before he married Mary, used to pal around with “Bull” and other ringside favorites, but ’tis said Mary ruled against Bull as being “declasse.” * * * * * It will be remembered that Viola Dana was a very close friend of Orma Locklear, the famous aviator, who was killed about a year ago. A few months later, she was often seen with Earl Daugherty, also a well known aviator, who maintains one of the finest flying fields in Southern California. Now Earl and Viola are never seen together. What happened, Viola? * * * * * ’Tis said on “Elinor Glyn Night” at the Ambassador Cocoanut Grove, our visiting English authoress ate her entire supper without once removing her long white gloves. Those were “great moments” when the olives, corn and asparagus came on! Elinor was again accompanied by that tall, youngish actor, Dana Todd. Hollywood has been undergoing mental confusion all summer as to whether Dana was in love with Gloria Swanson or Elinor or merely a protege protector of both ladies when they took their evenings out. * * * * *