While Doug and Mary were recovering from a tremendous ovation in London and were receiving a similar welcome in Gay Paree, Charlie Chaplin native Englishman, was being slapped by the press of his native land. The London Post, for example, says this: “Charlie Chaplin was good enough to remark on the sadness of the faces of the Londoners he met in his walks. Well, we went through a bit of a war while Charlie was in Los Angeles.” * * * * * Going, Going, Gone! When the rye is in the meadow And the corn is in the shock And your cellar’s dry as powder And your diamonds all in hock, When the gin is all in Holland And the home brew knocked sky-high Oh, tell me Captain Billy When the milk weed’s going dry. * * * * * How to Get the Cash “Bonuses for Babies” Is all the cry In France; And so the largest families Will get the biggest chance; But where’s the money coming from? French Law for laughter bids By taxing all the bachelors For other people’s kids! * * * * * The nox was lit by the lux of Luna, It was a nox most opportuna, To catch a possum or a coona. The nix was scattered o’er the Mundus, A shallow nix et non profundus. * * * * * _The undertaker is always able to put up a stiff argument._ _Classified Ads_ The Colonel Knows His Cat (From San Antonio Express.) Reward—Lost, Boston female, 8 months old, 12 lbs., mahogany brindle, screw tail, white chest, back of neck and blazed face. Col. M. L. Crimmins, 106 Groveland Place. * * * * * Why, Mabel! (From St. Louis Post-Dispatch.) Miss Mabel Wilber, in the leading soprano role of Daisy the Barmaid, later Little Boy Blue, sang well and wore several masculine costumes which showed her versatility. * * * * * A Warm Proposition (San Francisco Chronicle.) Young man, 28, wishes the acquaintance of a lonely, stout lady; object mat. Box 500, Chronicle Branch, San Jose. * * * * * Hand In Hand (From the Bald Knob, Ark., Eagle.) A jolly bunch of our young people went on a kodaking expedition Sunday that resulted in many exposures and a very enjoyable time. * * * * * Like Dimples, They Come High (From the Graceville, Minn., Enterprise.) Born—To Mr. and Mrs. G. C. Heimann, Sunday, August 7th, a son. You can get one this month only for $40.00. See Chris. Nelson, The Tailor. * * * * * The timid girl appreciates the sympathy that makes a man feel for her in the dark. * * * * * Bargain Day The late Cy Warman, who deserted railway literature for a real railway job in Montreal, told this story at a luncheon not long before his death: