A Scotchman came upon an automobile overturned at a railway crossing. Beside it lay a man all smashed up. “Get a doctor,” he moaned. “Did the train hit you?” asked the Scotchman. “Yes, yes; get a doctor.” “Has the claim agent been here yet?” “No, no; please get a doctor.” “Move over, you,” said the Scot, “till I lie down beside you.” * * * * * A Letter in Meter There are meters of accent, There are meters of tone, But the best way to meet her Is to meter alone. There are letters of accent There are letters of tone, But the best way to letter Is to letter alone. * * * * * Page the Weather Boy! The fancy display in hosiery on a rainy day affects a man’s eyes to such an extent that he is always anxious to see it clear up. * * * * * _Playing with loaded dice is shaky business at best._ * * * * * Ain’t It the Truth? It usually takes a St. Patrick’s Day parade longer to pass a bootlegging joint than any other point on the line of march. * * * * * The High Cost of Babies The following is an original advertisement appearing in the Genesee (Idaho) News: Eight Months’ Warning. After October 1st, all babies C. O. D. W. H. Ehlen, M. D. H. Rouse, M. D. * * * * * The Tattlers Age and her little brother will always tell on a girl. * * * * * They nicknamed the baby Steamboat because they used a paddle behind. * * * * * A little boy wrote a composition on man and he said it was a person split half way up and who walks on the split end. * * * * * Something to Worry About The pulse of Napoleon is said to have made only 50 beats a minute. * * * * * _According to new regulations in the British army, each soldier in barracks is allowed 600 cubic feet of air space, and if the diet of the British soldier is the same as that of the Yank, the 600 feet is none too much._ _Our Rural Mail Box_ =_Dorothy_=—Your friend has been spoofing you. Beware of freak poker games. If you want to bet, cross the line to Tiajuana. * * * * * =_George_=—Stick ’em under the mattress to crease ’em but don’t have the baby in bed. * * * * * =_Stock Clerk_=—There is only one sure way of making money following the ponies. * * * * * =_Madame Bozo_=—Stout women should not wear tight waists. Sizes up to 48 bust in basement. * * * * * =_Howsitt Pheal_=—You won’t mind wearing amber glasses in the Islands, Howsitt, you’ll get color blind anyhow. * * * * *