So up the road to the Whiz Bang farm Where the onions grow but do no harm. It’s a merry crowd that slings the hoe On Billy’s farm. Come gang let’s go. * * * * * _They tell me people are so tough in South St. Paul they play Tiddly-Winks with the sewer covers. Zatright?_ * * * * * Fable of a Poodle Once there was a guy who wished that he was a rich woman’s lap-dog, when suddenly a Great Genii appeared before him and granted his wish, telling him that any time he wished to be changed back to a man, he should slip out of the rich lady’s house and come to the home of the Genii, in a distant part of the city. Being only a dog, he soon grew tired of his pampered life, and since he was really a dog, the kisses and petting of his pretty mistress failed to produce the “kick” that he had anticipated. So, he slipped out of the house, and found himself on a broad and spacious avenue, lined with trees, telegraph poles and iron fence posts. Now, that was many moons ago, but up to the present writing, the little doggie has not reached the Genii’s house to be changed back to a man. MORAL: It’s a poor wish that won’t work two ways. * * * * * French Proverbs (Selected by Rev. G. L. Morrill.) _Women give themselves to God when the Devil wants nothing more to do with them._ _Since Cupid is represented with a torch in his hand, why did they place virtue on a barrel of gunpowder?_ _A woman forgives everything but the fact that you do not covet her._ _Fools never understand people of wit._ * * * * * Outside the Show “Hello, Bill, how did you enjoy the show last night?” “Fine, Joe. Wasn’t that some pippin in the bathing suit?” “Yep, Bill!” “Well, I saw her without the suit on today.” !!!!!——————(street clothes?) * * * * * Familiarity Breeds Contempt John Philip Sousa traveled six thousand miles to hear the celebrated chimes of an English church. As he was drawing near the place the wonderful chimes rang out, and enraptured, Sousa exclaimed to the driver of the vehicle, “You folk are indeed fortunate to live within sound of those heavenly chimes.” “I can’t hear a word you say,” shouted the driver irritably, “them d—— bells deafen me.” * * * * * As You Were Sexton—“Dogs are not allowed here, sir.” Visitor—“That’s not my dog.” Sexton—“Not your dog? Why, he’s following you.” Visitor—“Well, so are you.” * * * * * We Pull Lots of These A cross-eyed man at a dance hall said “May I have the next dance, please?” Two girls answered as with one voice, “With pleasure.” * * * * * That Reminds Me Algernon—Dearest, I could sit here forever gazing into your charming eyes and listening to the wash of the ocean. The Girl—That reminds me, Honey. I have a laundry bill and I’m dead broke.