* * * * * There’s one thing I can’t eat for breakfast and that is supper. * * * * * While a darky was being led to the gallows a crowd of people ran past him. “What yo all running fo?” yelled Sambo after them, “Dey ain’t nothin’ gwine to happen till ah gets dere.” * * * * * He is so stingy he goes to the postoffice to fill his fountain pen. * * * * * April Fool Johnny (running into the room of his mother on April 1st)—“Mama, there’s a strange man kissing our maid.” Mother—“What, a strange man?” Johnny—“April fool, it’s only papa.” * * * * * Curbstone Comedy He stopped the balky car. “Honey, I must get out and spank the engine over the ears.” “Oh, engine-ears!” * * * * * We Pass The nurse at the front regarded the wounded soldier with a puzzled look. “Your face is familiar to me, but I can’t place you,” she said. “Let bygones be bygones, baby,” replied the soldier, “I used to be a policeman.” * * * * * Riddle-de-doot! Where did you get that rose? That isn’t a rose, that’s a geranium. No, it isn’t. It’s a rose. I said it’s a geranium. How do you spell it? It’s a rose all right. * * * * * _My girl has Pullman teeth._ _One upper and one lower._ * * * * * Colorado Springs is sure some town. Had to go up to the city hall to get a permit from the mayor to play a game of dominoes. * * * * * This wash board is a hundred years old. Yes, it surely is wrinkled. * * * * * Punctuation “Men are naturally grammatical.” “Yes?” “When they see an abbreviated skirt they always look after it for a period.” * * * * * Chalk Up One Error Chicago.—Mrs. R. Kelly sat watching a thrilling movie. Without taking her eyes off the film, she landed an uppercut on the jaw of the man sitting next to her. “I must have made a mistake,” Jake Cohen told the judge. “I didn’t know I put my hand on her knee!” * * * * * Remember This One? The first scene is that of a gambler, Who has lost all his money at play; Takes his dead mother’s ring from her finger Which she wore on her wedding day, His last earthly treasure he stakes it Bows his head the shame he may hide. When they raised up his head, They found he was dead ’Tis a picture from life’s other side. * * * * * “Say, Mr. Jones, what do you want to get married for?” “Because I don’t want my name to die out.” * * * * * “You don’t love me any more,” She sobbed and bowed her head. “What tuhel’s the difference,” The villainous rascal said.