Captain Billy's Whiz Bang, Vol. 3, No. 31, March, 1922: America's Magazine of Wit, Humor and FilosophyVarious
General
Captain Billy's Whiz Bang, Vol. 3, No. 31, March, 1922: America's Magazine of Wit, Humor and Filosophy
Various
American wit and humor -- Periodicals
At the Temple of the Five Hundred Genii, where the prayers of the holy
had given way to the harangues of the politicians, I saw a gilded statue
big as life of the first European globe-trotter to China, Marco Polo.
Such a traveler was a novelty then, but now is a nuisance. I went by old
walls whose painted dragons the new Chinese had wiped out; by temples
whose only occupants were a few second-hand gods and bats; took time to
visit the water-clock tower where drops of water instead of grains of
sand mark the time of China’s millions towards the grave; passed through
gates of the old city wall to the hillside where hundreds had been shot;
looked into the graveyard where the poor common people rest after life’s
fitful fever, while the restless rich, who shunned them in life, lie
apart from them in the City of the Dead.
Like mummies in a museum, they sleep unburied in their rich caskets and
await the grafting geomancer, that oriental undertaker, who promises
the relatives to find some place in the ground undisturbed by the Great
Dragon. By the religious milestone of the five-storied, weedy, seedy
Pagoda, whose oracles are dumb, I headed for the Execution Grounds in the
pottery district where the sharp sword had sent many a man back to his
original clay.
China is becoming civilized now and stands her criminals up against a
wall and shoots them. Here was a narrow alley lined with earthen pots
covered with mats, under which were fleshless skulls. One of them seemed
to look imploringly at me, and I picked it up. Alas, some poor Chinese
Yorick! I was anxious to see the man who struck the fearful blows, and
Ah Cum called the executioner who came out with a knife estimated to
have cut off 300,000 heads in thirty years. There is a death here by
“seventy-two cuts,” but one from his sword was enough.
Bayard Taylor said China was a good place to leave, and I was not very
sorry when the whistle blew to cast off and say good-bye to the city of
dreadful sights, sounds, suffering and smells. Leaving the grotesque
outline of an old fort, a little island stained by some dark murder, a
place where pirates had scuttled a ship, a picturesque Pagoda looking
like an eight-story Easter bonnet, Grecian-bend shaped junk-boats and
sampans like big, broken barrels floating along, we sailed down the Pearl
River and at midnight reached the Portuguese town of Macao. On deck we
were surprised to find the officers embracing the coolies. Were they
trying to relieve them of their hard-earned spoils of fan-tan which they
had won during the night? No, the honest officials were only searching
for concealed arms, but found only those which Nature had allowed and
provided.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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