Cooks -- Fiction; Science fiction; Short stories; Space ships -- Fiction; War stories
"Well, sir," confessed Slops reluctantly, "I need an incinerator in
the galley. The garbage-disposal system in there now is old-fashioned,
inconvenient and unsanitary. You see, I have to carry the waste down
two levels to the rocket-chamber in order to expel it."
The skipper's brow creased.
"I'm sorry, Slops," he said, "but I don't see how we can do anything
about that. Not just now, at any rate. That job requires equipment we
don't have aboard. After this jump is over I'll see what I can do."
"Oh, I realize we don't have the regular equipment," said Slops shyly,
"but I've figured out a way to get the same effect with equipment we
do have. There's an old Nolan heat-cannon rusting in the storeroom.
If that could be installed by the galley vent, I could use it as an
incinerator."
I said, "Hold everything, Slops! You can't do that! It's against
regulations. Code 44, Section xvi, says, 'Fixed armament shall be
placed only in gunnery embrasures insulated against the repercussions
of firing charges, re-radiation, or other hazards accruent to heavy
ordnance.'"
Our little chef's face fell. "Now, that's too bad," he said
discouragedly. "I was planning a special banquet for tomorrow, with
roast marsh-duck and all the fixings, pinberry pie--but, oh, well!--if
I have no incinerator--"
The skipper's eyes bulged, and he drooled like a pup at a barbeque.
He was a bit of a sybarite, was Captain David O'Hara; if there was
anything he dearly loved to exercise his molars on it was Venusian
marsh-duck topped with a dessert of Martian pinberry pie. He said:
"We-e-ell, now, Mr. Dugan, let's not be too technical. After all, that
rule was put in the book only to prevent persons which shouldn't ought
to do so from having control of ordnance. But that isn't what Slops
wants the cannon for, is it, son? So I don't see any harm in rigging
up the old Nolan in the galley for incineration purposes. Did you say
_all_ the fixings, Slops?"
Maybe I was mistaken, but for a moment I suspected I caught a queer
glint in our little chef's eyes; it might have been gratitude, or, on
the other hand, it might have been self-satisfaction. Whatever it was
it passed quickly, and Captain Slops' soft voice was smooth as silk
when he said:
"Yes, Captain, all the fixings. I'll start cooking the meal as soon as
the new incinerator is installed."
* * * * *
So that was that. During the night watch two men of the crew lugged
the ancient Nolan heat cannon from stores and I went below to check. I
found young Slops bent over the old cannon, giving it a strenuous and
thorough cleaning. The way he was oiling and scrubbing at that antique
reminded me of an apprentice gunner coddling his first charge.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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