England -- Social life and customs -- 19th century -- Fiction
‘What did they say?’ she cried. ‘Oh, yes, you deceive me: you do nothing
but deceive me; and now, at least, I must know the truth. I will send
for Maxwell to come back, and he will tell me--he is honest, not like
you. James, James! have you no love for me left? You did love me
once--and promised. What did they say? I _know_ they have told you. You
cannot hide it from me--it is in your face.’
He made no answer, but stooped down over the fire, so that his very
profile might be hid from her. She could not see anything, he thought,
in his shoulders--and yet the tremor in his frame, the very gesture told
more plainly than words. She sat up in her bed, growing wild with eager
energy. Her cap fell back, which had been loose before, and her long
hair streamed over her shoulders. ‘Bring me the medicine-box, quick,
quick!’ she cried. He ran to obey her, glad of the diversion, and
knowing how often she had paroxysms of pain, which had to be stilled at
all hazards. The neat little medicine-chest, with its orderly drawers
and shelves, like a toy in tiny regularity and neatness, was kept in a
closet at the other end of the room. He brought it out, and put it down
on the table by her bedside. ‘Is it the usual pain?’ he said, his voice
trembling. And now she could see all the misery in his haggard face.
She clutched with her white, feverish fingers at his arm.
‘Tell me. You have heard--oh, I can see, you have heard--tell me, what
do they say?’
He tried for a moment to get free; but what was the use? His face, all
quivering with miserable excitement, his heavy eyes that would not look
her in the face, his lips, not steady enough even to frame an excuse,
were more telling than any words. She devoured his face with her
strained eyes, holding him by his sleeve. Then, with a convulsive
shiver, ‘It is as I thought. I see what it is,’ she cried.
‘O my darling!’ he said, sinking down on his knees by her bedside. ‘What
do they know? They are mistaken every day. How often have we said that,
you and I? Why should we make gods of them now? Annie! we never believed
in doctors, you and I!’
‘I believe in them now,’ she said. All her excitement had faded from
her. The hectic red had disappeared from her cheeks, a convulsive
shivering was all that remained of her strong excitement and emotion.
She was hushed by the certainty. No doubt was in her mind as to the
truth of it. There was silence for a moment--a long, long time, as it
seemed; and when the silence was broken, it was she who spoke, not in
complaint or despair, but with a strange, chill wonder and reflective
pain. ‘There are some people who would not have minded so much,’ she
said, in a half whisper. ‘Some people do not feel the pain so
much--or--the loathing. O my God, my God, _me_!’ What could be said?
Hard sobs shook the man’s helpless frame. He could do nothing for
her--and she was dearer to him than his life.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
Reviews
Reviews
No reviews yet
Be the first to share your thoughts on this work.
Join the Discussion
Join the discussion
Sign in to leave a comment or review.
Sign InorCreate an account