[Illustration: “_Oh, I know something dreadful has happened to him. I just know they’ll soon be bringing him home._”] [Illustration: _But, as usual, there was nothing whatever the matter with Johnny._] A PICTORIAL SERMONETTE THE MAN WHO HAD NO RIGHT TO TALK [Illustration: AT EIGHT O’CLOCK--“_Why, take a night like this, with the thermometer below zero, the suffering among the poor is simply terrible. Somebody ought to take them coal barons out and string ’em up to the nearest lamp-post._”] [Illustration: AT ELEVEN O’CLOCK--“_I tell you, gentlemen, it’s an infamous outrage. Just think of the suffering among the helpless poor. It makes me mad to think of it. I wish I was President for about fifteen minutes--you’d see some of them villains in the coal trust pay for their confounded heartlessness._”] [Illustration: AT TWELVE O’CLOCK--“_Well, I’ve got to be going, for I’ve got a twelve-mile drive and it’s bitter cold to-night. I pity the poor people who have no coal on a night like this._”] A PICTORIAL SERMONETTE ON THE IMAGINATIVE MAN WHO WORKS HIMSELF INTO A PASSION BECAUSE HE THINKS SOME ONE MAY INSULT HIM [Illustration: “_I wonder if he will remember me after all these years. Maybe his prosperity has changed him so that he will pretend to forget the old school-days._”] [Illustration: “_Well, if he tries the haughty act with me there’ll be trouble. I won’t allow any man to insult me. It would be an outrageous way to treat an old friend._”] [Illustration: “_And I’m too proud to stand for it a minute! I’ll mop up the floor with him! I’ll show him that I’m as good as he is, even if he is rich. Confound him, I’ll leave this beastly hole rather than be humiliated that way!_”] [Illustration: _As a matter of fact Mr. Scadsworth was delighted to see his old friend._] A PICTORIAL SERMONETTE ONE OF THE PERILS OF THOSE WHOSE POSITIONS IN SOCIETY ARE NOT SECURE [Illustration: MR. SNOBBLY (aside)--“_Great Scott, there’s that man who spoke to me at the hotel. I wonder how he broke in here. I hope he doesn’t speak to me right here before Mrs. Topnotcher._”] [Illustration: “_Oh, Mrs. Topnotcher, what a beautiful tapestry that is over there!_”] [Illustration: “_And what a lovely chandelier you have._” (_Aside._) “_I hope that old man has not recognised me._”] [Illustration: _As a matter of fact, old Mr. Bullion didn’t know Snobbly was on earth. He merely came over to speak to his old friend, Mrs. Topnotcher, with whom he spent a week at a house-party in Windsor Castle as the guest of King Edward._] MR. LUGUBRIOUS BLUE AND MR. SMILEY GLADD ON THE VENEZUELAN SITUATION [Illustration: MR. GLADD--“_Well, I see there’s another little scrap down in Venezuela._” MR. BLUE--“_Little scrap, nothing. It’s the beginning of a terrible war between the United States and Europe._”] [Illustration: MR. GLADD--“_Oh, I think they’ll adjust the trouble before long._”