Bildungsromans; English fiction -- 20th century; Women musicians -- Fiction
“Good.” He looked a little queerly at this transformation of her. “Then
we’ll go now.”
“But it’s not half-past nine yet. The concert won’t be over till after
ten.”
“That doesn’t matter. I’ve got to go to the hotel to fix up
arrangements. You’d better come with me.”
“Right.” The promptitude of her reply had something in it of riotous
abandon.
“We’ll go by bus to High Wood and walk the rest. It’s sooner....”
Again she acquiesced, this time by a nod that seemed to indicate an
eagerness too great to be put into words.
At the corner of the Bockley High Street they took a bus. They occupied
the front seat on the top. The night was moonless, but stars were
shining over the whole sky. In front and behind stretched the high road
with arc lights gleaming like a chain of pearls. She thought of that
other evening when she had ridden with Helen along this very road on
the top of a crowded tram-car. She remembered how in the passing glare
of the arc-lamps she had read the note which George Trant had enclosed
for her. She remembered it all as clearly as if it had happened
yesterday, though in point of time it seemed to belong to another age.
She remembered the purr of the quickly-moving car, the hiss of the
trolley-wheel along the overhead wires, the buzz of talk all round her,
and the sharp, sickly sensation of reading a few words in spasms and
fitting them into their context when the pale light merged into the
darkness.
But even while she thought of these things she became greatly joyous.
She took off her hat and stuffed it into her pocket (it was of the kind
that yields to such treatment). Her hair blew in soft spray about her
head and shoulders, and her eyes were wet with the tears that the cool
wind brought. She remembered that once he had said “My God! ... your
hair! ...” He might not say it again, but perhaps he would think it.
“I liked your playing,” he said.
“You did?”
“Rather.... I’m not much of a judge, but I can always tell a real
musician from a false one. The real musician throws his whole soul into
his music....”
“Did I?”
“Yes. I know you did. You played almost unconsciously. I believe you
forgot all about your audience. You were just playing for the sheer
love of playing....”
“Are you sure?”
“Quite sure.”
“Well, you’re wrong, anyway,” She laughed defiantly. “I didn’t
forget about my audience a bit: I kept on remembering them the whole
time. I kept on thinking: !Did they notice that little bit? ... I
polished off that arpeggio rather nicely; I wonder if anybody noticed
it....’ And as for throwing my whole soul into my music, I’m not so
sure--whether--even--whether----”
“Yes?”
She tossed back her head so that her hair danced like flame. The bus
jerked to a standstill.
“Whether I’ve got a soul,” she said very quickly. “Come on, we’re at
High Wood.”
They clambered down the steps.
“I’m sure you have,” he said, as he helped her off the conductor’s
platform.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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