Americans -- Philippines -- Fiction; Short stories
"A simple fact, wasn't it, a commonplace one, almost vulgar, you might
say. And yet what a change of view produced by it, what a dislocation of
judgment! I was like a man riding through a strange country, in a storm,
at night. It is dark, he cannot see, he has never seen the country, yet
as he rides on he begins to picture to himself the surroundings, his
imagination builds for him a landscape--a mountain there, a river here,
wind-streaming trees over there--and right away it exists, it _is_, it
has solidity, mass, life. Then suddenly comes a flash of lightning, a
second of light, and he is astounded, absolutely astounded to see the
real landscape different from that indestructible thing that his mind
had built. Thus it was with me. I had judged, oh, I had judged him
thoroughly, sized him up to a certainty, and bang, came the flare of
this new fact, this extremely commonplace fact, and I was all off, all
off. I must begin to judge again, only it would never do that man any
good.
"A hundred memories came back to me, glared at me in the illumination of
that new fact. I remembered the camisa, the bare feet. I saw him running
down the lane with his bunch of stolen bananas. I recalled that absurd
scene on the waters; I heard him say: 'No, seh; Ah cain't affawd to take
chances; Ah cain't affawd it.'
"Of course he couldn't afford it. Think--a wife and seven children!
"That night I went through his papers, putting things in order, and from
every leaf, every scrap, came corroboration of the new fact. It was
easy enough to patch up his life. He was one of those pitiful
pedagogues of the rural South, shiftless, half-educated, inefficient. He
had never been able to earn much, and his family had always gently
starved. Then had come the chance, the golden chance--the Philippines
and a thousand a year. He had taken the bait, had come ten thousand
miles to the spot of his maximum value. Only, things had not gone quite
right. Thanks to the beautiful red-tape of the department, three months
had gone before he had received his first month's pay. Then it had come
in Mex., and when he had succeeded in changing it into gold it had
dwindled to sixty dollars. Of course, he had sent it all back, for even
then it would take it six more weeks to reach its destination, and sixty
dollars is hardly too much to tide over five months for a family of
eight. These five months had to be caught up in some way, so every month
his salary, depreciated ten per cent. by the change, had gone across the
waters. He wore camisas and no shoes, he stole bananas. And his value,
shoeless, camisa-clothed, was sixty dollars a month. He was just so much
capital. He had to be careful of that capital.
"'Ah cain't affawd to take chances; Ah cain't affawd it.' Of course he
couldn't.
"And so he had fought on blindly, stubbornly, and, at last, with that
pitiful faculty we have, all of us, of defeating our own plans, he had
killed himself, he had killed the capital, the golden goose.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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