'I'm quite well,' she said. 'I hardly expected you would understand.
But I beg you to believe that I cannot act otherwise. My life is not
with you. I feel sure of that.'
The words were spoken so decisively that he knew he would not succeed
in changing her. Then his face grew pale with anger, and he said:
'Then everything you've said--all your promises--everything was a lie,
a wretched lie.'
'No, Alfred, I tried to believe. I did believe, but I had not thought
much then. Remember, I was only eighteen.' She gathered up her
painting materials, and, holding out her hand, said, 'Won't you
forgive me?'
'No, I cannot forgive you.' She saw him walk down the pathway, she saw
him disappear in the shadow. And this rupture was all that seemed real
in their love story. It was in his departure that she felt, for the
first time, the touch of reality.
III.
Mildred did not see Alfred again. In the pauses of her painting she
wondered if he thought of her, if he missed her. Something had gone
out of her life, but a great deal more had come into it.
Mr. Hoskin, a young painter, whose pictures were sometimes rejected in
the Academy, but who was a little lion in the minor exhibitions, came
once a week to give her lessons, and when she went to town she called
at his studio with her sketches. Mr. Hoskin's studio was near the
King's Road, the last of a row of red houses, with gables, cross-
beams, and palings. He was a good-looking, blond man, somewhat
inclined to the poetical and melancholy type; his hair bristled, and
he wore a close-cut red beard; the moustache was long and silky; there
was a gentle, pathetic look in his pale blue eyes; and a slight
hesitation of speech, an inability to express himself in words,
created a passing impression of a rather foolish, tiresome person. But
beneath this exterior there lay a deep, true nature, which found
expression in twilit landscapes, the tenderness of cottage lights in
the gloaming, vague silhouettes, and vague skies and fields. Ralph
Hoskin was very poor: his pathetic pictures did not find many
purchasers, and he lived principally by teaching.
But he had not given Mildred her fourth lesson in landscape painting
when he received an advantageous offer to copy two pictures by Turner
in the National Gallery. Would it be convenient to her to take her
lesson on Friday instead of on Thursday? She listened to him, her eyes
wide open, and then in her little allusive way suggested that she
would like to copy something. She might as well take her lesson in the
National Gallery as in Sutton. Besides, he would be able to take her
round the gallery and explain the merits of the pictures.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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