I stand still. Their variance has rotted all away. They are one....
Mildred and mother and the others ... in a rigid gaze at me, in a cold
terror rising from their sight.
“Well, it is I: only I.” Their faces do not move, they have not heard
me.
But their stark death, making them one, moves. They rise to their feet.
Mildred and Philip, faces fixed on me, retreat: Mr. Fayn and my father
move aside. They huddle together in a single group. Six various bodies
crowded close and one, in a shrivel of horror.
I go forward. My hands are forward and I am near to them. They do not
stir. With my hand I touch the cheek of Mildred. With my hand I touch
the hand of my mother. My hands go forward as through an impalpable
light! I sweep with maddened arms about their bodies: my arms,
unhindered, draw in on themselves. They stand stark huddled, their eyes
fixed upon mine: and my arms thresh through space!
Fear is full gathered in my throat. I shriek. I shriek, and thresh with
unresisted arms....
_b_
I awoke crying out.... Very warm, close-bundled, I cry as with the
toothless hollow mouth of a babe. I cry and yet there is no sound. I
stop. I am more awake. My opening eyes perceive a world that whirls in
mazing colors and threatens to break in. This delirious dance subsides.
I am quiet in my bed and the dark air lies quiet all about me. I know
my body, I know my sheets and covers, I know my room, my open window:
the city, purple and encaverned pours through the window into my room.
The room all this time has slumbered quietly while I left it, and have
come back to it. Swift fears start still from my muscles and my nerves,
like discovered stowaways of that journey whence I am back in my room.
And then I knew my Dream, and my mind was stripped of space and time as
I tried to face it.
--There is revelation in the Dream! Of that I was convinced. Let me
explore its strangely shifting realm. But my mind could not enter.
There, stript for action, it pounded at the gate, and it could not
enter. I am inside the revealing realm of my Dream. But what good is
that, since my mind cannot enter?
I lie in this agony of confusion, holding within my hand the key to the
mystery that has distraught my world: and surely my eyes are good, yet
when I strain to see, they veer, they tangent off. I cannot see what I
hold!
From this turmoil there must be release. My body is moving. I do not
know how long I have lain in bed, breaking in vain at the gate of my
Dream. Not very long, for the night is still there murmuring like a
hollow sea outside and sending in breakers at my open window. There
have been no other thoughts, no fancies at all. The Dream is palpable
and I within it, and my mind that must rejoin me, knocking, beating.
That is all.
Then, sudden I am moving! I am getting up, and calmly with the
certainty of custom I put on my clothes: I shut the house door: I am in
the street.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
Reviews
Reviews
No reviews yet
Be the first to share your thoughts on this work.
Join the Discussion
Join the discussion
Sign in to leave a comment or review.
Sign InorCreate an account