No more may I walk down the casual street and watch with open eyes the
open faces of my brothers. No more may I let my sense move close, sure
in its right, to the woman who calls it forth. No more may I be one of
a group at table, accepting easefully their acceptance.
O warm packed common of the life of man! the pleasant word with the
waiter taking my order; the humid confidence of the charwoman who
cleans my rooms; the nod to the policeman at the corner; the gossip
with the newsman, a dark fellow with eyes great in dark glasses; the
community with crowds that I won of my daily paper ... thrilling with
clerk and laborer at the latest scandal, shouting at the portentous
choice in the election of Tweedledee over his rival Tweedledum; the
massed brotherhood at the Polo Grounds, cheering the Giants, booing the
Pirates ... the intricate unsung sacrament of moving in a family of
men! All of us eat, all of us know what hunger is and love, and sleep,
and sleeplessness. All of us have mouths that give forth words, have
ears that receive them. Do we not walk in ecstasy so vast none can give
thought to it? None, save me, who am barred. Not you, prisoner at Sing
Sing. You have comrades. Though they thrust you in solitary, a whole
world knows of you, either to pity or to blame ... and both are ways
of human intercourse. Not you, dead body rotting in the earth, for
you rot with your brothers, you rot with all mankind. I am alone. And
there is no fellow to myself in all the anguished and warm spaces of
men! Oh, I could sing a pæan to the life of the slave-galleys, since
there are fellow-oarsmen, since there is a master. I envy the soldier
driven to his death. What warmth in the fellow fate of his brothers, in
the intense caress of the enemy who slays him. Yes, the victim falling
from a blow knows the passionate caress of his assailant. And the babe
unborn presses its blind hands against a womb that loves it....
Common street of the hospitable city. If it be cold, what one of you
who walk cannot say “It is cold” and have response? If you hunger,
cannot you take your place in the immemorial army of famine and
despair, side by side with all the others who know you, who accept
you, who salute your right to share in the common want? Oh, if I could
undo any tragic search for the Truth that has slain me, that has made
me lone as no star in the crowded heavens ... how I would sing your
riches, manifold Life: Life, in whom men and women move, signaling one
another, touching bodies, sharing pain and laughter! Oh, fool to seek
the solitary Truth, when Ignorance is crowded and is warm.
I am alone. Has hope, the latest straggler, that remains even when
anguish has departed, whispering: “Peace ... you will die.” ... has
hope gone, too?
The faces of mankind are stranger to me. And the city where I live is a
cold memory that has forgotten how to greet me. And my work that loved
me is a lie too small to hold me. Has hope gone, too?
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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