Chambers's Journal of Popular Literature, Science, and Art, Fifth Series, No. 33, Vol. I, August 16, 1884Various
History
Chambers's Journal of Popular Literature, Science, and Art, Fifth Series, No. 33, Vol. I, August 16, 1884
Various
Periodicals
To be unhappy and alone at night in chambers is to have an opportunity
of realising the sense of desolation in its bitterest degree. The
double doors and double windows which secure the stillness that is
of so much importance for working purposes, seem now to shut you off
doubly from the world; from help if you are dying, and from sympathy if
you live. The rumble of the heaviest wagon reaches the ears as a faint
sound from afar off; no footstep is heard at all; and the adjacent
chambers are silent as the tenements of the dead. You welcome the plash
of rain against the window-panes—dull as that is—as if it were a friend
come to speak to you in your solitude.
That is the time for thoughts of suicide to haunt a man if his mind is
disturbed; and that is the time for cynical broodings on the vanity
of life, the falsehood of friendship, and the fickleness of love. He
sees in what miserable failure his most earnest efforts have resulted;
he misinterprets the most trivial word and look of his friend, and he
loses grip altogether of that faith which in healthier state enables
him to find consolation in love. He recalls all the bitter things that
have been written about women, and for the time-being believes them.
How was it, Philip asked himself, that he had fallen into this
desperate position? He had laboured with all his might for others
rather than for himself; his object was a noble one, and quite
feasible, he was still convinced. Yet the social revolution he
had dreamed of was as far off as ever, and he suddenly found that
he was face to face with absolute ruin. Evidently his blunder lay
in his miscalculation of the power of his capital. There had been
disappointments with his fellow-workers, who, shrewdly counting the
cost of material and the market value of the manufactured article,
saw that the latter would barely realise enough to give them a fair
ordinary wage in the best of times, to say nothing of the share of
profits promised them. The cost of material was too high; and it was
natural that they should conclude the cost was so fixed by arrangement
with their chief in order to deprive them of what they now called their
rights.
Philip saw the force of their argument, and began to inquire about the
items of expenditure. Hitherto, he had been so deeply occupied in the
organisation of his scheme, that he had left financial matters almost
entirely in Wrentham’s hands. Hints were given him that the prices he
was charged were not the prices paid for materials, but that a large
proportion went in secret commissions. As soon as he began to look
into the question closely, he was met by the astounding fact, that he
had reached the end of his capital, and had heavy liabilities to meet
almost immediately, as well as heavy current expenses to provide for.
How to do this without applying to Mr Shield, he had been trying for
weeks to find out; and the more harassed he became, the more impossible
it appeared to work through the mess without assistance.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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