Chambers's Journal of Popular Literature, Science, and Art, Fifth Series, No. 33, Vol. I, August 16, 1884Various
History
Chambers's Journal of Popular Literature, Science, and Art, Fifth Series, No. 33, Vol. I, August 16, 1884
Various
Periodicals
Well, he would try Dr Joy’s specific, and endeavour to work, or walk
off this nervous frenzy. First he tried the work. There was much need
that he should master the accounts and compare prices paid with prices
quoted in the markets. But the figures performed such strange antics
before his eyes, that after an hour of vain endeavour to master their
meaning, he impatiently closed the book and rose no wiser, or rather
less wise, than he had been before he sat down.
He took himself to task. It was of the utmost importance that in the
morning he should be cool and clear-headed; but he could not hope to be
so unless he obtained sleep. Well, he would try the second remedy.
He put on his hat and overcoat and went out. It was not of any
consequence to him in which direction he should walk, his sole object
being to exhaust himself by the physical exercise, in order to induce
healthy sleep. To distract his mind from its troublous ruminations, he
turned instinctively towards those quarters where he was most likely to
encounter signs of life.
He strode along Oxford Street and down Regent Street. But he was
walking in a dream. The lights of the lamps were dim in his eyes, the
figures which flitted by him were like shadows, and he could not have
told whether they were men or women. The voices of those who passed
him seemed to be muffled, and he scarcely distinguished any sounds. A
hansom cab came rattling at full speed towards him: the horse slipped,
staggered, fell. There was a commotion, and although, a minute before,
the street seemed to be deserted, figures sprang out of the darkness,
and there was a crowd at the scene of disaster.
He passed on, with that insensibility to the fate of others which
characterises people when in dreamland. His feelings were numbed as
his eyes were dimmed. The sense of humiliation at the utter failure of
what he had believed to be so certain of success produced the one pain
of which he was conscious, and which no drugs, fatigue, or reason had
power to subdue.
If the money had been his own, he could have borne with comparative
calmness the overthrow of his hopes and the ridicule of those who had
from the first called his project folly.
But despite the assurances of Mr Shield and of Mr Shield’s solicitors,
Philip had never regarded the money otherwise than as held in trust;
and the loss of it was as bitter as the destruction of the beautiful
palace he had built in air.
The only bit of ballast left him was the dogged conviction that the
principle which he had endeavoured to carry into practical effect was
a right one, and would be turned to good account by some one more
fortunate or more careful than he had been.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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