'Charge It': Keeping Up With HarryBacheller, Irving
General
'Charge It': Keeping Up With Harry
Bacheller, Irving
Didactic fiction; Humorous stories
"We went. It was a 'new-thought' tea--a deep, brain-racking,
forefinger-on-the-brow function. You could see the thoughts of the
ladies and sometimes hear them as a 'professor' with long hair and
smiles of fathomless inspiration wrapped himself in obscurity and
called unto them out of the depths. He was all depth. They gazed at
his soulful eyes and plunged into deep thought, catching at straws,
and he returned to New York by the next train and probably made
another payment, on account, to his landlady. Tea and conversation
followed his departure.
"I had observed that Mrs. Revere-Chalmers had undergone a singular
change of aspect, but failed to locate the point of difference until a
sister had said to her in a tone of honeyed deviltry:
"'My dear, you are growing younger--quite surely younger, and your
hair is so lovely and so--different! You know what I mean--it has the
luster of youth, and the shade is adorable without a trace of gray in
it.'
"This last phrase was the point of the dagger, and Mrs. Chalmers felt
it. Sure enough, her hair had changed its hue, and was undeniably
fuller and younger.
"Then our hostess gave out a confession which has made some history
and is fully qualified to make more. It is a curious fact that one who
is abnormal enough to commit a crime is apt to have poor caution.
"'I have been taking lessons of the Professor, and have produced this
hair by concentration,' said she. 'It is a creation of the new thought
and so wonderful I could almost forgive one for not believing me.'
"'A gem of thought--a hair poem!' I could not help exclaiming. 'Did it
come all at once, in a flood of inspiration, or hair by hair?'
"'All at once,' she answered.
"I charged it and went on as if nothing great had happened.
"'Considered as a work of the imagination, it is wonderful, and should
rank with the best of Shakespeare's,' I assured her. 'But it will
subject you to unsuspected perils, for your footstool will be the
shrine of the hairless and you shall see the top of every bald head
in America.'
"Another lady sprang to her assistance by telling how she had
extracted a pearl necklace from an unwilling husband who had said that
he couldn't afford it, by concentration. The new thought had fetched
him.
"The noble unselfishness with which they had used this miraculous gift
of the spirit appealed to Harry and to me.
"In that brilliant company was a slim woman of the armored cruiser
type, who had come to Betsey one day and said:
"'You're spoiling your husband. You make too much of him. You don't
seem to know how to manage a husband, and the husbands of Pointview
are being ruined by your example. They expect too much of us. We women
have got to stand together. Don't you read the _Female Gazette_?'
"'No--I have been waiting till I could get a rubber-plant and other
accessories,' said Betsey.
"'Well, it may not be _en règle_, but it is full of good sense,' said
the lady. 'I've brought an article with me that I wish you would
read.'
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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