'Charge It': Keeping Up With HarryBacheller, Irving
General
'Charge It': Keeping Up With Harry
Bacheller, Irving
Didactic fiction; Humorous stories
"She left the article, and its title was 'How to Manage a Husband.' It
averred that too much petting, too much indulgence, made a man selfish
and conceited; that affection should be administered with scientific
reserve. Men should be taught to wait on themselves, and all that.
"They called on me for remarks, and I said:
"'I am glad to have become acquainted with the power of concentration.
I propose that we all quit work and begin to concentrate. Matter is
only a creation of spirit. Let us exercise our several sovereign
spirits and try to turn out a better line of matter. Let us have fewer
rocks and stones and more comforts. Sweat and toil are a great
mistake. Let us turn Delance's Hill into plum-pudding and the stones
thereof into caramels and its pond into tomato-soup. Why not? They
have no reality, no substance. They are nothing but thoughts--and our
thoughts, at that--and why shouldn't we change 'em? But somehow we
can't fetch it. According to the Professor, we have got into the habit
of thinking in terms of rock, soil, and water, and we can't get over
it. There are some few of us who stand for better things; but the
majority keep thinking in the old rut, and we can't sway them. The
Professor says that all we need is to get together and agree and then
concentrate. But agreement doesn't seem to be necessary. You know that
there was a time when everybody, after much concentration, agreed that
the world was flat--everybody but one man. Now the world was stubborn.
It wouldn't give up. It hung on to its roundness, and let the people
think what they pleased. They tried to flatten it with countless tons
of concentration, but it held its shape. The one man had his way
about it. So don't be discouraged by an adverse majority on this
plum-pudding project. One lady has shown us a sample of concentrated
hair, and it looks good to me. Why all this striving, all this trouble
about the problems of life and death, when the straight, broad way of
concentration is open to us? Why shouldn't we have concentrated bread
and meat and shoes and socks and silks.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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