"Meanwhile Emilia will finish Litka's cure." Here Pani Bigiel turned to
Pan Stanislav: "You will learn now how other young ladies will seem to
you after Marynia. I am not so intimate with her as Emilia is, but I
will try to find the first convenient pretext to write to her and find
out what she thinks of you."
The conversation ended here. On the way home, Pan Stanislav saw that
Marynia had taken by no means the last place in his soul. To tell the
truth, he could hardly think of aught else. But he had at the same
time the feeling that this acquaintance had begun under unfavorable
conditions, and that it would be better to drive the maiden from
his mind while there was time yet. As a man rather strong than weak
mentally, and not accustomed to yield himself to dreams simply because
they were pleasant, he resolved to estimate the position soberly, and
weigh it on all sides. The young lady possessed, it is true, almost
every quality which he demanded in his future wife, and also she was
near his heart personally. But at the same time she had a father whom
he could not endure; and, besides the father, a real burden in the form
of Kremen and its connections.
"With that pompous old monkey I should never live in peace; I could
not," thought Pan Stanislav. "For relations with him are possible only
in two ways: it is necessary either to yield to him (to do this I am
absolutely unable), or to shake him up every day, as I did in Kremen.
In the first case, I, an independent man, would enter into unendurable
slavery to an old egotist; in the second, the position of my wife would
be difficult, and our peace might be ruined."
"I hope that this is sober, logical reasoning. It would be faulty only
if I were in love with the maiden already. But I judge that this is not
the case. I am occupied with her, not in love with her. These two are
different. _Ergo_, it is necessary to stop thinking of Marynia, and let
some other man take her."
At this last idea, a feeling of bitterness burned him vividly, but he
thought, "I am so occupied with her that this is natural. Finally, I
have chewed more than one bitter thing in life; I will chew this one as
well. I suppose also that it will be less bitter each day."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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