He may either say he's a "puir broken ploughman," or any other trade; but since he has chosen that trade, some of the articles belonging to it must always be given or offered, in order to recruit him. But the article he most wants he privately tells one of the party, who is not allowed, of course, to offer him anything, as he knows the thing, which will throw the _offerer_ in a _wadd_, and must be avoided as much as possible--for to be in a _wadd_ is a very serious matter, as shall afterwards be explained. Now the one on the left hand of the poor ploughman makes the first offer, by way of answer to what above was said: "I'll gie ye a _coulter_ to help ye to your trade." The ploughman answers, "I don't thank ye for your _coulter_, I hae ane already." Then another offers him another article belonging to the ploughman's business, such as the _mool-brod_, but this also is refused; another, perhaps, gives the _sock_, another the _stilts_, another the _spattle_, another the _naigs_, another the _naig-graith_, and so on; until one gives the _soam_, which was the article he most wanted, and was the thing secretly told to one, and is the thing that throws the giver in a _wadd_, out of which he is relieved in the following manner:-- The ploughman says to the one in the _wadd_, "Whether will ye hae three questions and twa commands, or three commands and twa questions, to answer or gang on wi', sae that ye may win oot o' the _wadd_?" For the one so fixed has always the choice which of these alternatives to take. Suppose he takes the first, two commands and three questions, then a specimen of these may run so:-- "I command ye to kiss the _crook_," says the ploughman, which must be completely obeyed by the one in the _wadd_--his naked lips must salute the _sooty_ implement. "Secondly," saith the ploughman, "I command ye to stand up in that neuk, and say-- 'Here stan' I, as stiffs a stake, Wha'll kiss me for pity's sake?'" Which must also be done; in a corner of the house must he stand and repeat that couplet, till some tender-hearted lass relieves him. Now for the questions which are most deeply laid, or so _touching_ to him, that he finds much difficulty to answer them. "Firstly, then, Suppose ye were sittin' aside Maggie Lowden and Jennie Logan, your twa great sweethearts, what ane o'm wad ye ding ower, and what ane wad ye turn to and clap and cuddle?" He makes answer by choosing Maggie Lowden, perhaps, to the great mirth of the party. "Secondly, then, Suppose you were standin' oot i' the cauld, on the tap o' Cairnhattie, whether wad ye cry on Peggie Kirtle or Nell o' Killimingie to come wi' your plaid?" He answers again in a similar manner.