Children's Ways: Being selections from the author's "Studies of childhood," with some additional matterSully, James
Science
Children's Ways: Being selections from the author's "Studies of childhood," with some additional matter
Sully, James
Child development; Child psychology
When it comes to the bigger human troubles this want of fellow-feeling
is still more noticeable. Nothing is more shocking to the adult observer
of children than their coldness and stolidity in presence of death.
While a whole house is stricken with grief at the loss of a beloved
inmate the child is wont to preserve his serenity, being often taken
with a shocking curiosity to peep into the dead room, and to get perhaps
the gruesome pleasure of touching the dead body so as to know what "as
cold as death" means, and at best showing only a feeling of awe before a
great mystery.
No one, I think, will doubt that judged by our standards children are
often profoundly and shockingly callous. But the question arises here,
too, whether we are right in applying our grown-up standards. It is one
thing to be indifferent with full knowledge of suffering, another to be
indifferent in the sense in which a cat might be said to be so at the
spectacle of your falling or burning your finger. We are apt to forget
that a large part of the manifestation of human suffering is quite
unintelligible to a little child.
Again, when an appeal to serious attention is given, a child is apt to
spy something besides the sadness. The little girl who wanted to touch,
and to know the meaning of "cold as death," on going to see a dead
schoolmate was not unnaturally taken up with the beauty of the scene,
with the white hangings and the white flowers.
I am far from saying that the first acquaintance with death commonly
leaves a child indifferent to the signs of woe. I believe, on the
contrary, that children are frequently affected in a vague way by the
surrounding gloom. In some cases, too, as published reminiscences of
childhood show, the first acquaintance with the cruel monarch has
sometimes shaken a child's whole being with an infinite, nameless sense
of woe.
With this unfeelingness children are frequently charged with active
unkindness, amounting to cruelty. La Fontaine spoke of the age of
childhood as pitiless (_sans pitié_).
This appearance of cruelty will now and again show itself in dealings
with other children. One of the trying situations of early life is to
find oneself supplanted by the arrival of a new baby. Children, I have
reason to think, are, in such circumstances, capable of coming
shockingly near to a feeling of hatred. One little girl was taken with
so violent an antipathy to a baby which she considered outrageously ugly
as to make a beginning, fortunately only a feeble beginning, at smashing
its head, much as she would no doubt have tried to destroy an
ugly-looking doll.
Such malicious treatment of smaller infants is, I think, rare. More
common is the exhibition of the signs of cruelty in the child's dealings
with animals. It is of this, indeed, that we mostly think when we speak
of his cruelty.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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