Children's Ways: Being selections from the author's "Studies of childhood," with some additional matterSully, James
Science
Children's Ways: Being selections from the author's "Studies of childhood," with some additional matter
Sully, James
Child development; Child psychology
This jealous regard for ceremony and the proprieties of behaviour is
seen in the enforcement of rules of politeness by children who will
extend them far beyond the scope intended by the parent. A delightful
instance of this fell under my own observation, as I was walking on
Hampstead Heath. It was a spring day, and the fat buds of the chestnuts
were bursting into magnificent green plumes. Two well-dressed "misses,"
aged, I should say, about nine and eleven, were taking their correct
morning walk. The elder called the attention of the younger to one of
the trees, pointing to it. The younger exclaimed in a highly shocked
tone: "Oh, Maud (or was it 'Mabel'?), you know you _shouldn't_ point!"
The domain of prayer well illustrates the same tendency. The child is
wont, as we have seen, to think of God as a very, very grand person, and
naturally, therefore, extends to him all the courtesies he knows of.
Thus he must be addressed politely with the due forms, "Please," "If you
please," and the like. The German child shrinks from using the familiar
form "Du" in his prayers. As one maiden of seven well put it in reply to
a question why she used "Sie" (the polite form of "you") in her prayers:
"Ich werde doch den lieben Gott nicht Du nennen: ich kenne ihn ja gar
nicht" (But I mustn't call God "thou": I don't know him, you see). On
the other hand, God must not be kept waiting. "Oh, mamma," said a little
boy of three years and eight months (the same that was so insistent
about the kissing and hand-shaking), "how long you have kept me awake
for you; God has been wondering so whenever I was going to say my
prayers." All the words must be nicely said to him. A little boy, aged
four and three-quarter years, once stopped in the middle of a prayer and
asked his mother: "Oh! how do you spell that word?" The question is
curious as suggesting that the child may have regarded his silent
communication to the far-off King as a kind of letter.
_The Enforcer of Rules._
Not only do children thus of themselves extend the scope of our
commands, they show a disposition to make rules for themselves. If,
after being told to do a thing on a single occasion only, a child is
found repeating the action on other occasions, this seems to show the
germ of a law-making impulse. A little boy of two years and one month
was once asked to give a lot of old toys to the children of the
gardener. Some time after, on receiving some new toys, he put away, of
his own accord, his old ones as before for the less fortunate children.
That the instinct for order assists moral discipline may be seen in the
fact that children are apt to pay enormous deference to our rules.
Nothing is more suggestive here than their talk among themselves, the
emphasis they are wont to lay on the "must" and "must not". The truth is
that children have a tremendous belief in the sacredness of rules.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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