On reaching the church porch, we found the parson rebuking the
grey-headed sexton for having used mistletoe among the greens with which
the church was decorated. It was, he observed, an unholy plant, profaned
by having been used by the Druids in their mystic ceremonies; and though
it might be innocently employed in the festive ornamenting of halls and
kitchens, yet it had been deemed by the Fathers of the Church as
unhallowed, and totally unfit for sacred purposes. So tenacious was he
on this point, that the poor sexton was obliged to strip down a great
part of the humble trophies of his taste, before the parson would
consent to enter upon the service of the day.
The interior of the church was venerable but simple; on the walls were
several mural monuments of the Bracebridges, and just beside the altar
was a tomb of ancient workmanship, on which lay the effigy of a warrior
in armour, with his legs crossed, a sign of his having been a crusader.
I was told it was one of the family who had signalised himself in the
Holy Land, and the same whose picture hung over the fireplace in the
hall.
The orchestra was in a small gallery, and presented a most whimsical
grouping of heads, piled one above the other, among which I particularly
noticed that of the village tailor, a pale fellow with a retreating
forehead and chin, who played on the clarionet, and seemed to have blown
his face to a point; and there was another, a short pursy man, stooping
and labouring at a bass viol, so as to show nothing but the top of a
round bald head, like the egg of an ostrich. There were two or three
pretty faces among the female singers, to which the keen air of a frosty
morning had given a bright rosy tint; but the gentlemen choristers had
evidently been chosen like old Cremona fiddles, more for tone than
looks; and as several had to sing from the same book, there were
clusterings of odd physiognomies, not unlike those groups of cherubs we
sometimes see on country tombstones.
[Illustration: Winding all up by a nasal solo]
The usual services of the choir were managed tolerably well. But the
great trial was an anthem that had been prepared and arranged by Master
Simon, and on which he had founded great expectation. Unluckily there
was a blunder at the very outset; the musicians became flurried; Master
Simon was in a fever; everything went on lamely and irregularly until
they came to a chorus beginning ‘Now let us sing with one accord,’ which
seemed to be a signal for parting company: all became discord and
confusion; each shifted for himself, and got to the end as well, or
rather as soon, as he could, except one old chorister in a pair of horn
spectacles bestriding and pinching a long sonorous nose; who, happening
to stand a little apart, and being wrapped up in his own melody, kept on
a quavering course, wriggling his head, ogling his book, and winding all
up by a nasal solo of at least three bars’ duration.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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