The little church stood back on a quiet hill, which bent its wings in a
gentle curve to shelter it from the north and east. These bending wings
were feathered, soft as down, with, larches, hawthorn, and the
lightly-pencilled birch, between which, here and there, the bluff rocks
stood their ground. Southward, and beyond the glen, how fair a spread
of waving country we could see! To the left, our pretty lake, all clear
and calm, gave back the survey of the trees, until a bold gnoll, fringed
with alders, led it out of sight. Far away upon the right, the Severn
stole along its silver road, leaving many a reach and bend, which caught
towards eventide the notice of the travelled sun. Upon the horizon
might be seen at times, the blue distance of the Brecon hills.
Often when I sat here all alone, and the evening dusk came on, although
I held those volumes on my lap, I could not but forget the murders and
the revenge of men, the motives, form, and evidence of crime, and nurse
a vague desire to dream my life away.
Sometimes also my mother would come here, to read her favourite Gospel
of St. John. Then I would lay the dark records on the turf, and sit
with my injury hot upon me, wondering at her peaceful face. While, for
her sake, I rejoiced to see the tears of comfort and contentment dawning
in her eyes, I never grieved that the soft chastenment was not shed on
me. For her I loved and admired it; for myself I scorned it utterly.
The same clear sunshine was upon us both: we both were looking on the
same fair scene--the gold of ripening corn, the emerald of woods and
pastures, the crystal of the lake and stream; above us both the peaceful
heaven was shed, and the late distress was but a night gone
by--wherefore had it left to one the dew of life, to the other a
thunderbolt? I knew not the reason then, but now I know it well.
Although my favourite style of literature was not likely to improve the
mind, or yield that honeyed melancholy which some young ladies woo, to
me it did but little harm. My will was so bent upon one object, and the
whole substance and shape of my thoughts so stanch in their sole
ductility thereto, that other things went idly by me, if they showed no
power to promote my end. But upon palpable life, and the doings of
nature I became observant beyond my age. Things in growth or motion
round me impressed themselves on my senses, as if a nerve were touched.
The uncoiling of a fern-frond, the shrinking of a bind-weed blossom, the
escape of a cap-pinched bud, the projection of a seed, or the sparks
from a fading tuberose, in short, the lighter prints of Nature’s
sandalled foot, were traced and counted by me. Not that I derived a
maiden pleasure from them, as happy persons do, but that it seemed my
business narrowly to heed them.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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