"Exactly so. My unhappy child, I knew it too well. Though a dark sin is
your leading star, I feel too painfully my own shortcomings, and old
unregenerate tendencies, to refuse you my carnal sympathy. You know my
feelings, Edgar."
"Indeed, Eleanor," replied my guardian, with an impenetrable smile, "how
should I? You have always been such a model of every virtue."
She gave him a glance, and again addressed me. "Now suppose, Clara
Vaughan, that, after years of brooding and lonely anguish, you obtain
your revenge at last, who will be any the better for it?"
"My father and I."
"Your father indeed! How you wrong his sweet and most forgiving
nature!"
This was the first thing she had said that touched me; and that because
I had often thought of it before. But I would not let her see it.
"Though his nature were an angel’s," I cried, "as I believe it was,
never could he forgive that being who tore him from me and my mother. I
know that he watches me now, and must be cold and a wanderer, until I
have done my duty to him and myself."
"You awful child. Why, you’ll frighten us all. But you make it the
more my duty. Come with me now, and let me inculcate the doctrines of a
higher and holier style."
"Thank you, Mrs. Daldy, I want no teaching, except my mother’s."
"You are too wilful and headstrong for her. Come to me, my poor stray
lamb."
"I would sooner go to a butcher, Mrs. Daldy."
"Is it possible? Are you so lost to all sense of right?"
"Yes, if you are right," I replied; and left the room.
Thenceforth she pursued tactics of another kind. She tried me with
flattery and fictitious confidence, likely from a woman of her maturity
to win a young girl, by inflating self-esteem: she even feigned a warm
interest in my search, and wished to partake in my readings and secret
musings. Indeed, I could seldom escape her. I am ready to own that, by
her suggestions and quick apprehension, she gained some ascendancy over
me, but not a tenth part of what she thought she had won; and I still
continued to long for her departure. Of this, however, no symptom
appeared: she made herself quite at home, and did her best to become
indispensable to my mother.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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