In grand style she marched to the door, but soon thought better of it,
and came to her proper place with the sigh of a contrite spirit.
"Poor creature! It is a rebuke to me, for my want of true faith in the
efficacy of prayer."
And after all this, she made a most excellent dinner.
About that woman there was something of a slimy pride, no more like to
upright prickly self-respect than macerated bird-lime is to the stiff
bright holly. Yet no one I ever knew possessed such wiry powers of
irritation. Whenever my mother and my guardian met, she took care to be
in the way, and watched them both, and appealed to me with all her
odious pantomime of sorrow, sympathy, wonder, loving superiority, and
spiritual yearnings. And all the time her noisome smile, like the smell
of a snake, came over us. She knew, and rejoiced in the knowledge, how
hard set I was to endure it, and every quick flash of my eyes only lit
up her unctuous glory.
For all I know, it was natural that my antipathy to that woman should,
by reaction, thaw sometimes my coldness towards my uncle. Though
self-respect had at length compelled him to abandon his overtures to my
friendship, now and then I detected him looking at me with a pitying
regard. In self-defence, I began to pity him, and ceased to make faces
or sneer when the maids--those romantic beings--declared that he must
have been crossed in love. At this conclusion, long ago, all the
servants’ hall had arrived; and even little Tilly Jenkins, not admitted
as yet to that high conclave, remarkable only for living in dust-bins,
and too dirty to cause uneasiness to the under-shoeboy’s mother--even
that Tilly, I say, ran up to me one morning (when I went to see my dear
pony) and beat out her dust, and then whispered:
"Oh, please, Miss Clara, to give my very best wishes to Master. What a
terrible blight to the heart be unrequited love!" And Tilly sighed a
great cloud of brick-dust.
"Terrible, Tilly: I hope you have not fallen in love with the weeding
boy!"--a smart young lad, ten stairs at least above her.
"Me, miss? Do you think I would so demean myself?" And Tilly caught up
her dust-pan arrogantly.
This little anecdote proves a fact which I never could explain, viz.
that none of the servants were ever afraid of me.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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