No need to recount my bitter farewell to all the scenes and objects I
had loved so long, to all which possessed a dark yet tender interest,
and most of all to my father’s grave. That some attention might still
be paid to this, I entrusted it to the care of an old housekeeper of
ours, who was living in the village. My last visit was in the
moonlight, and dear mother was there. I carried rather than led her
away. Slight as my knowledge has been of lightsome and happy love, I am
sure that a sombre affection is far the stronger and sweeter.
As we began our journey, a crowd of the villagers met us beyond the
lodge, and lined the Gloucester road as far as the old oak-tree. While
our hired conveyance passed between them, the men stood mute with their
hats in their hands, the women sobbed and curtseyed, and blessed us, and
held up their children to look at us.
Our refuge was the small estate or farm in Devonshire, which I have
mentioned as my mother’s property. This, which produced £45 a-year, was
all that now remained to us, except a sum of £1,000 left to me by a
godfather, and of which I could not touch the principal. The residue of
the personalty, and the balance at the banker’s, we had refused to take,
being assured that legally we were responsible to Mr. Vaughan, even for
the back rents of the Gloucestershire estate. Of course we had plenty
of jewellery, some of it rather valuable, but the part most precious was
heirloom, and that we had left behind. Most of our own had been my
father’s gift, and therefore we could not bear to sell it.
As regarded myself, this comparative poverty was not of very great
moment, except as impairing my means of search; but for my mother’s sake
I was cut to the heart, and lost in perplexity. She had so long been
accustomed to much attention and many luxuries, which her weak health
had made indispensable to her. Thomas Henwood and poor Ann Maples
insisted on following our fortunes, at one third of their previous
wages. My mother thought it beyond our means to keep them even so; but
for her sake I resolved to try. I need not say that I carried all my
relics, difficult as it was to hide them from my mother.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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